The PRETITLE of -MELON- is a huge, efficient nation, notable for its deadly medical pandemics, sprawling nuclear power plants, and irreverence towards religion. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 984 million -MELON-ians are rabid consumers, partly through choice and partly because the government tells them to and dissenters tend to vanish from their homes at night.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry, Law & Order, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Spirituality and Administration are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.4%.

The powerhouse -MELON-ian economy, worth 90.6 trillion blood bone drugs a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Soda Sales. Average income is 92,060 blood bone drugs, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 434,741 per year while the poor average 11,552, a ratio of 37.6 to 1.

Attempts at growing pineapples in the desert have been unsuccessful, thieves are flogged in public for their crimes, playing card suits are sold separately, and sales of fishnet stockings have reached a record high. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. -MELON-'s national animal is the half-baked.

-MELON- is ranked 5,910^th in the world and 1^st in Land of the free for Fattest Citizens, with 23.53 Obesity Rate.