The Eternal Optimism of Oilers Fans is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the Great 97 with an even hand, and remarkable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, keen interest in outer space, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 16.144 billion Oilers Fansians enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Edmonton. The average income tax rate is 96.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Oilers Fansian economy, worth a remarkable 2,333 trillion Pucks a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 144,544 Pucks, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

School nurse's offices feature full-service operating suites, board shorts have replaced board rooms, school plays were recently banned due to concerns of child endangerment, and The Great 97 spends weekends doing the laundry of foreign leaders. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Oilers Fans's national animal is the Bearded Nuge, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Eternal Optimism.

Oilers Fans is ranked 2,412^th in the world and 13^th in Canada for Safest, scoring 144.28 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.