The Constitutional Empire of Zurkerx is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Dmitri Covasku III with a fair hand, and renowned for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, smutty television, and flagrant waste-dumping. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 28.914 billion Zurks live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business government, or what there is of one, is primarily concerned with Defense, although Industry and Education are also considered important, while Environment and Welfare aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Moskova. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Zurk economy, worth an astonishing 18,367 trillion Zureus a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Soda Sales, and Gambling. Average income is a breathtaking 635,229 Zureus, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,235,801 per year while the poor average 68,825, a ratio of 47.0 to 1.

The nation's politicians are known more for the internet memes they spawn than any of their accomplishments, the official Zurk Phrase Book weighs as much as a small child, the people have taken "Hail President Dmitri Covasku III" as an invitation to lob rocks, and President Dmitri Covasku III's new door-knocking campaign has the sweet taste of success. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Zurkerx's national animal is the Buffalo, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Atheism.

Zurkerx is ranked 294,342^nd in the world and 13^th in Zentari for Lowest Crime Rates, with 1.58 law-abiding acts per hour.