The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and notable for its complete lack of prisons, smutty television, and state-planned economy. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 29.163 billion Paffniacs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 6,381 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 218,816 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Arguments about toilet seats being left up or down get surprisingly heated, citizens are strongly encouraged to breathe less so as to limit the carbon footprint, light entertainment shows are light on actual entertainment, and government expenses are beyond compare. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 293,671^st in the world and 599^th in A Taco Paradise for Highest Disposable Incomes, with zero Standard Monetary Units.