The Nightwatchman of Night Crawler is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Creepy Crawly with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, disturbing lack of elderly people, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 10.323 billion Night Crawlerians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Crawley. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 59.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Night Crawlerian economy, worth a remarkable 2,243 trillion Birthday Cakes a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Furniture Restoration. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 217,309 Birthday Cakes, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

Stranded mountaineers can watch livestreamed footage of their rescues, army uniforms are replaced en masse to accommodate adult soldiers, grinding bureaucracy has the international wheels of justice turning slowly, and among slaves 'bastard' is an honorific rather than an insult. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Night Crawler's national animal is the Tiger, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Violetism.

Night Crawler is ranked 193,199^th in the world and 7,809^th in Balder for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -3.16 on the Clooney Contribution Index.