The Commonwealth of Northern Socialist Council Republics is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by First Speaker Russ with a fair hand, and notable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.23 billion Northerners are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Soundstead. The average income tax rate is 94.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Northern economy, worth a remarkable 1,244 trillion Commonwealth kronor a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 172,068 Commonwealth kronor, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Building a phallus out of Minecraft blocks counts as indecent exposure, Brown Sugar 101 is a popular course at community colleges, hordes of tourists are ruining the environment, and older ladies are inundated with offers to help them cross the road. Crime is totally unknown. Northern Socialist Council Republics's national animal is the swan, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Northern Socialist Council Republics is ranked 127,288^th in the world and 5,144^th in Osiris for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,793.6 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.