The Federal Republic of Calahy is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Federal President Caroll Eigen with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 2.073 billion Calahians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Darmschtadt. The average income tax rate is 76.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Calahyian economy, worth 349 trillion Marks a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Arms Manufacturing, and Retail. Average income is an impressive 168,359 Marks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation threatens sanctions on islands only visible at low tide, all you have to do is pray to get into Calahy, Federal President Caroll Eigen accepted United Federation theatrical awards for Best Writer and Best Actress on behalf of the absent recipients, and asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Calahy's national animal is the Double-headed eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Protestantism.

Calahy is ranked 168,035^th in the world and 3,745^th in The North Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 715.75 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.