The Texan Empire of Barrow Cove is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by CUBCHOO with an iron fist, and remarkable for its zero percent divorce rate, ubiquitous missile silos, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.682 billion pineapples are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of United Cubchoo City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 75.0%.

The frighteningly efficient pineapplean economy, worth a remarkable 2,217 trillion Polar Pennieses a year, is fairly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 255,394 Polar Pennieses, with the richest citizens earning 5.6 times as much as the poorest.

Phenotypic plasticity is a struggle for sealife in polluted waters, teachers prefer to give 'Maybe, Maybe Not' tests when dealing with sensitive subjects, the nation is experiencing a severe shortage of sporting events, and the mining industry is making inroads into environmentally sensitive areas. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Barrow Cove's national animal is the bisexual drugged penguin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is THE CHAIN.

Barrow Cove is ranked 4,785^th in the world and 1^st in Recovering Pathological Liar for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 12,196.64 on the Gilded Widget Scale.