The Beating Heart of Davey Jones is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Davey Jones with an iron fist, and notable for its unlimited-speed roads, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 24.212 billion Davey Jonesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, with Defense, Healthcare, and Industry also on the agenda, while Welfare is ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Heart. The average income tax rate is 64.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The large but inefficient Davey Jonesian economy, worth 669 trillion Hearts a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Pizza Delivery, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is 27,652 Hearts, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Abortions are routinely performed in Davey Jones's hospitals, torture is commonly used to extract information from suspected criminals, midnight pizza breaks are common among the work-from-home population, and Davey Jones has designated Heart as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Davey Jones's national animal is the crow, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities, and its national religion is The Skull.

Davey Jones is ranked 15,775^th in the world and 10^th in Hell for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 1,367.8 on the Clooney Contribution Index.