The Democratic Socialist State of Cachard Calia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Jane Fisher with an even hand, and renowned for its national health service, compulsory vegetarianism, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 3.505 billion Cachard Calians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The large, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lesbiana. The average income tax rate is 97.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Cachard Calian economy, worth 675 trillion gaylis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 192,816 gaylis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Truancy is as easy as clicking a camera icon, polygraphs are relegated to the dungeon exhibit in castle museums, Cachard Calia recently hosted the least successful trade negotiations since The Phantom Menace, and celebrities sit helplessly as they are labeled "pompous womples" by Jane Fisher. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Cachard Calia's national animal is the Queer Democratic Fox, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Agnosticism.

Cachard Calia is ranked 4,591^st in the world and 22^nd in Gay for Safest, scoring 132.45 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.