The Pub of Cynical Alcoholics is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by czar casm with an even hand, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, compulsory military service, and absence of drug laws. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 42.381 billion Alcoholics enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Education, although Law & Order and Industry are also considered important, while Social Policy and Welfare are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Scotchistan. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Cynically Alcoholic economy, worth an astonishing 14,034 trillion corpses a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 331,146 corpses, with the richest citizens earning 7.9 times as much as the poorest.

Abortions are routinely performed in the nation's hospitals, visiting the best Cynically Alcoholic restaurants requires keeping a visa on file, Czar casm is quite hard to get a hold of, and mountain rescue missions can end with more people lost than found. Crime, especially youth-related, is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Cynical Alcoholics's national animal is the pink elephant, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Alcoholism.

Cynical Alcoholics is ranked 8,159^th in the world and 10^th in Hell for Most Beautiful Environments, with 1,796.77 pounds of wildlife per square mile.