The United Socialist States of Tikovia is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Dmitri Voronin with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, punitive income tax rates, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, cynical population of 1.249 billion Tikovians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The large, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Tikov. The average income tax rate is 55.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Tikovian economy, worth 42.2 trillion Zapas a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 33,750 Zapas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Religious turf wars have caused frustrated police to pray for divine intervention, the army lures cannon fodder with promises of a college education, drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government, and more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tikovia's national animal is the Eagle, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Tikovia is ranked 150,363^rd in the world and 5,799^th in Osiris for Highest Food Quality, scoring 15.54 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.