by Max Barry

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Can I have end rods? I need to beat the ender dragon

I am your singing telegram . . .

Here to inform you of dire news: a murder most foul has struck the secluded home of a mysterious millionaire, and this case currently has more suspects than clues. A thief. A mafia don. A corrupt politician. A grieving mother. All had a chance to commit this heinous crime, and all protest their innocence. Do you know who did it?

page=poll/p=159100

Demonos

The newest infernal reporting for duty! What may I do to serve the masters of Hell?

Demonos and Yodoshi

Carabus wrote:The newest infernal reporting for duty! What may I do to serve the masters of Hell?

Welcome to the fold.

Carabus

Yodoshi wrote:Welcome to the fold.

How may I join you in this higher state of being?

Carabus wrote:How may I join you in this higher state of being?

Perform the 12 Labours to enter Hell.

Auphelia and Carabus

Yodoshi wrote:Perform the 12 Labours to enter Hell.

Like the card thing? Or is that another joke?

Carabus wrote:Like the card thing? Or is that another joke?

No, This! v

I. Move to Underworld and spend getting to know Hell's community.
This is the main requirement, spending time in Underworld. Depending on circumstance and ability to preform the other trials, this could be a week, two weeks, a month, or longer.

II. Join the World Assembly!
This is very crucial to your entrance, you must join the WA and remain in the WA to qualify.

III. Join Hell's LinkForum.
Joining the forum is a good way to better get to know and interact with Hell's community. This will also further your chances of entering Hell, and will be a requirement for most.

IV. Be active and post on Hell's Regional Message Board.
While in Underworld you are highly encouraged to join in on the conversations going on in Hell, best way to get to know our community.

V. Assist the King of Hell The Stalker.
Assistance can be a number of different things, nothing that difficult. This will likely include service in the Hellion army. At its basic level requires moving a WA nation into a target region and endorsing a particular nation there.

VI. Pledge allegiance to the Kingdom of Hell.
We expect all incomers to send in a video of themselves bowing down and pledging allegiance to the King. Furthermore we expect all applicants to get 666 tattooed on one of your hands or forehead, and to send us documented proof of this.

Just kidding.. maybe.. no but really to enter Hell you must earn our trust, we want know your sincerely interested and loyal to Hell, and not some other hostile group. All Nazi traitors will be scalped.

~The Hellion Pledge Of Allegiance~

Read factbook

Carabus

I have done most of those, my parents wont let me on the forums, but I have been more active than anyone, I am in the WA, and I am loyal the rulers. Is this enough? I asked what I could do to serve, but I have not received any word. Any advice?

It's up to the King of Hell, The Stalker. It's going to take time and activity. I was in Underworld for a long time before I was invited to enter here

The Stalker, Auphelia, and Carabus

Carabus wrote:I have done most of those, my parents wont let me on the forums, but I have been more active than anyone, I am in the WA, and I am loyal the rulers. Is this enough? I asked what I could do to serve, but I have not received any word. Any advice?

The main part just takes time, and being a WA member. You are well on your way, don't worry about joining the forum, just be active and you'll complete the trials soon enough.

Auphelia, Yodoshi, and Carabus

Yodoshi wrote:It's up to the King of Hell, The Stalker. It's going to take time and activity. I was in Underworld for a long time before I was invited to enter here

And yet I just waltz in every few days to let you know about my fabulous polls. Speaking of . . .

A very topical poll. Enjoy!

page=poll/p=159244

Yodoshi wrote:Perform the 12 Labours to enter Hell.

Sounds rough.

How about we just give you a little "tithe" and call it a day?

Yodoshi and Briteannia

Auphelia wrote:And yet I just waltz in every few days to let you know about my fabulous polls.

Only because Embassy Posting is allowed. :P

Auphelia

Auphelia wrote:And yet I just waltz in every few days to let you know about my fabulous polls. Speaking of . . .

A very topical poll. Enjoy!

page=poll/p=159244

Sounds rough.

How about we just give you a little "tithe" and call it a day?

Fabulous polls indeed.

Auphelia and Yodoshi

Yodoshi wrote:Only because Embassy Posting is allowed. :P

Oh hush now, you know it's because I'm undeniably fabulous.

eternal condemnation is boring
get modern warfare

also i have popchips

Hello friends from Hell. We, from Middle Earth have some amazing news that we thought to share with you as well.

UPDATE 00 for the Middle Earth Roleplay has been posted !

Thanks to all that made this possible. There are also some spots still free on the map, if you wish to join.

Please feel free to check it out at the following link:

** REMEMBER! ON EACH THREE UPDATES YOU GET AN INFLUX OF UNITS **






More info:





FROM THE OLD UPDATE... :
Nothing to post from earlier updates as the roleplay just started!






What has been done until this update :
Nothing to post from earlier updates as the roleplay just started!







The Map of Middle Earth Roleplay - Update 00:
The Map of this Update can be found LinkHERE.
** IF you want to check out the other updates, go LinkHERE **






PANEL OF PLAYING KINGDOMS:




    • Kingdom's Name: Broken Tooth Tribe

    • NS Player: Dwarf

    • RP nation: Wild Hunt

    • Race: Orcs

    • Leader: Snicklefritz

    • Hero: type D, Snicklefritz (same as Leader)

    • NS Stats: -5% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Horse Plains (C), Upper Nurn

    • Armies under command: 3000 Orcs in Horse Plains (with Hero)




    • Kingdom's Name: Clan Frostbeard

    • NS Player: Dwarven mines

    • RP nation: Clan frostbeard

    • Race: Dwarves

    • Leader: Dralvik II

    • Hero: type D, Balur

    • NS Stats: +10% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Forochel (C), River Lhun

    • Armies under command: 1000 Dwarves in Forochel (with Hero)




    • Kingdom's Name: Elvea-Falasse

    • NS Player: Kingdom of the Unicorn 02

    • RP nation: Elvea-Falasse

    • Race: Elves

    • Leader: Cirdan

    • Hero: type D, Gannoriel

    • NS Stats: +5% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Northern Lindon, Mithlond (C)

    • Armies under command: 1000 Elves in Mithlond (with Hero)




    • Kingdom's Name: Empire of Coldvar

    • NS Player: New margaux

    • RP nation: New margaux

    • Race: Humans

    • Leader: Nikolai Nāves

    • Hero: type D, Nikolai Nāves (same as Leader)

    • NS Stats: +10% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Andrast (C), Anfalas

    • Armies under command: 2000 Humans in Andrast (with Hero)




    • Kingdom's Name: Rohan || ** Not currently playing **

    • NS Player: Echoriath

    • RP nation: ** no RP nation yet! **

    • Race: Humans

    • Leader: Theoden

    • Hero: type A, Theoden (same as Leader)

    • NS Stats: +0% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Anorien, Rohan (C)

    • Armies under command: 2000 Humans in Rohan (with Hero)




    • Kingdom's Name: The Defender's Fjord

    • NS Player: Wille-Harlia

    • RP nation: -wille-harlia-

    • Race: Dwarves

    • Leader: King Alexius Comnenus

    • Hero: type C, Erasmus Dragonsword

    • NS Stats: +10% effectiveness

    • Favouritism: 50 (+ 0% effectiveness)

    • Regions under command: (2) : Iron Hills, Withered Heath (C)

    • Armies under command: 1000 Dwarves in Withered Heath (with Hero)




    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) Etyangoldi Alliance

    • Race: Elves

    • Leader: Curufinwe Fallenstar

    • Regions under command: (3) : Cardolan, Dunland, Hollin (C)

    • Armies under command: 800 Elves in Hollin




    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) The Variag Order

    • Race: Humans

    • Leader: Ulwarth the First

    • Regions under command: (2) : Near Harad, Sutherland (C)

    • Armies under command: 1600 Humans in Sutherland




    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) The Woodland Enclave

    • Race: Dwarves

    • Leader: Barazturg (female)

    • Regions under command: (3) : Hearth of Mirkwood, Western Mirkwood (C), Woodland Realm

    • Armies under command: 800 Dwarves in Western Mirkwood




    • Kingdom's Name: (NPC) Trollshaw Realm

    • Race: Orcs

    • Leader: Torogok

    • Regions under command: (3) : Ettenmoors (C), Rhudaur, Upper Rhudaur

    • Armies under command: 2400 Orcs in Ettenmoors




    • Kingdom's Name: N/A




    • Kingdom's Name: N/A




    • Kingdom's Name: N/A




    • Kingdom's Name: N/A












DIPLOMATIC STATUS THROUGHOUT THE REALM:

  • Broken Tooth Tribe

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Clan Frostbeard

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Elvea-Falasse

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Empire of Coldvar

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • Rohan

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • The Defender's Fjord

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) Etyangoldi Alliance

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) The Variag Order

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) The Woodland Enclave

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (NPC) Trollshaw Realm

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (Unfilled Slot)

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (Unfilled Slot)

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-

  • (Unfilled Slot)

    • Official Allies: -none-

    • Official Enemies: -none-








Wars status throughout the realm:

  • Nothing happened so far !
    (The Roleplay just started ..)








RANKING: Most Provinces Controlled:


- (1st): (NPC) Etyangoldi Alliance (3 of 7)
- (2nd): (NPC) The Woodland Enclave (3 of 7)
- (3rd): (NPC) Trollshaw Realm (3 of 7)
- (NPC) The Variag Order (2 of 5)
- (Player) Broken Tooth Tribe (2 of 5)
- (Player) Clan Frostbeard (2 of 5)
- (Player) Elvea-Falasse (2 of 5)
- (Player) Empire of Coldvar (2 of 5)
- (Player) Rohan (2 of 5)
- (Player) The Defender's Fjord (2 of 5)
- (Unfilled Slot)
- (Unfilled Slot)
- (Unfilled Slot)
- (Unfilled Slot)







NPC talk and decisions of this update:
.

Etyangoldi Alliance:
The land of the Etyangoldi Alliance is quite mysterious to the outsider, as there is not a lot of information regarding them. The reasons for this are currently unknown. What is known, however, are the following.

The lands of Etyangoldi Alliance are rumored to hold great treasures, artifacts and even some enchanted items. The ruler of this kingdom is an elf of royal bloodline, named Curufinwe Fallenstar. He is very charismatic, a true demagogue, knowledgeable in the art of war and has a reputation for being cunning, self-absorbed and even resentful. Quick to anger and easily provoked, he is rumored to often employ unorthodox (unconventional) tactics and to have little care for the lives of those under his command when he sets a goal in mind. In the same time, the armies of the Etyangoldi Alliance are elite, not necessarily due to their personal prowess in battle but rather due to some top tier armor and quality weapons.

Curufinwe Fallenstar and the bulk of his army was last known to be found in the province of Hollin, the capitol of the Etyangoldi Alliance. They are resting there after the successful conquest of Cardolan from the descendant kings of Numenor.

----
No army movements


.

The Variag Order:
The many clans of Southern Mordor have, apparently, united under Ulwarth the First, ruler of the Variag Order. A legitimate claim for unification in this part of the world is usually related to how big your sword is, how far can you swing it and by how many die before you. And Ulwarth is shy in no aspect; he rules the clans with an iron fist and is sure to provoke some serious damage. So, now, with the clans united he looks elsewhere to increase his gain. And the only way is up.

But walking on a path of war and death may not be sufficient in these greener pastures of the world. Allies can prove to be a necessary evil, at least for securing a front; be it northern, eastern or western. Important decisions are to be made. Until then, Ulwarth the First and his armies reside at the capitol, Sutherland, and have sent a few messages.

"To the kingdom of Rohan,

This is in part a notice and a demand. The free folk, under my rule, wish riches and wish land. Here, we lack both riches and land. As such, we are expanding. You can be our allies or you can be our enemies.

The Variag Order"

also,

"To the empire of Coldvar,

The Variag Order salutes you. Some southern kings left our lands for Andrast, Belfalas and Anfalas, and I'm sure you're a descendant of one of them as the blood of a southernern runs through your veins. Or I hope it does, for if it does not, then it means that my folk perished to the blade of your folk. And if such a case is true, then I must seek retribution.

I hope not, as my plans are to expand and I wish to have allies that I can trust. Or enemies that are worth my blade.
What say you?"

and, finally, one last message.

"To the ruler of the Broken Tooth Tribe, Snicklefritz,

I hope that this message reaches you in good omens. My folks and your folks surely fought alongside, at one point in the distant past, around the plains of Mordor. Now, its up for the taking. What are your goals, your desires, your plans? Are you interested in reigniting some sort of lost connection between the freefolks of Khand and Sutherland and the orcs and goblins? Or are you decided to take glory in your own hands and test the waters? I warn you, they're quite muddy.

Hope you get the meaning of my message. Understanding or a good fight. For Nurn, for Mordor, and, why not, for the rest of Middle Earth. Or the seeds of an alliance, a bigger clan and glory for the both of us.
"

----
No army movements
Send a message to the Kingdom of Rohan, discussing cooperation, non-aggression or a sentiment of war
Send a message to the Empire of Coldvar, discussing cooperation, non-aggression or a sentiment of war
Send a message to the Broken Tooth Tribe, discussing cooperation, non-aggression or a sentiment of war


.

The Woodland Enclave:
If you're not a dwarf then you would not believe it if you were not to see it with your own eyes; but if you were to see it with your own eyes, you wouldn't be able to speak about it afterwards - as you'd either be dead, have your tongue and eyes cut out, or, if you're lucky, you'd be working for the rest of your life in the harsh mines of the Iron Hills.

I'm talking about the dwarf queen of the Woodland Enclave, Barazturg. The name means 'red beard' in the popular language but few would assume that its a female they're referring to. Yet here she is, in all her glory, at the spearhead of a dwarf battalion; beautiful contraptions, war machines and heavily armored warriors wielding powerful rune weapons and skirmishers proficient in crossbows and axe-trowing, their ever-lasting loyalty to the cause and to their queen makes for a powerful foe or a sturdy ally.

Alone, isolated in the woods, the Woodland Enclave slowly grows in power. But the craving for an united dwarf front is still a powerful cog in the dwarf mindset so Barazturg plans to try to connect with other dwarves. As such, she sends a few emissaries to other places of Middle Earth, namely to the Iron Hills, to the Grey Mountains, to the High Pass and to Moria, to Forochel and to the Blue Mountains. She wonders if there are any dwarves residing in these lands ...

----
No army movements
Send emissaries with gifts to the Iron Hills, the Grey Mountains, to the High Pass, to Moria, to Forochel and to Blue Mountains.
* emissaries can reach the Iron Hills and Forochel if the players that own those provinces want to


.

Trollshaw Realm:
Ettenmoors and Rhudaur are known to be desolate marshes, woodlands and mountains filled with dark creatures, and as such many castles and towers were built on top of hills all around the realm by the good folk wishing to protect themselves against the perils of the land. But without a good coordination, a central power or at least an influencial noble to keep the reigns and assume some sort of command, bad things happen.

And in this case, those bad things had a name. Trolls. Trolls. Trolls. Big trolls. Trolls smash. And not long after, the built towers were just a pile of cracked bricks and the castles of Rhudaur looked much like small stone ruins, a reminder of old times. But these trolls are not just smash and smash and smash. You can say that they're quite smart. Especially this particular troll, Torogok. Not a big talker, but a real do-er. He realized that instead of eating folk they could thrall folk. And make the folk fight for them. Or be eaten if they refuse, of course. There's no glory in being eaten (not to mention that its quite gruesome) but there's some glory in a death on the battlefields.

Trolls, with the help of slaves, captives and servants, managed to have a good hold on Ettenmoors and Rhudaur and are now planning to expand.

There's just a small issue. Torogok the troll heard from some captives that there's a king to the South that may prove to be a small nuisance. And why fight a kingdom when you can continue to smash around, own townsfolk and conquer more land? After all, its quite nice to be a troll and not be a thrall but own a thrall.

"Send a message to the elf Curufinwe", Torogok said to one of his human servant (that appears to be quite healthy, well fed and with all his limbs still attached).
"Glory to the Etyangoldi Alliance,
The trolls of Ettenmoors salute you.
We have no quarrels with you.
You're good folk."

"And be back quickly. Or else ...", Torogok added to his servant, before to get his dinner.

----
No army movements
Send a message to Etyangoldi Alliance about a non-aggression pact.


.





Read dispatch

Click clack moo, you old cow!

page=poll/p=159475

I need to stop by here more often and cleanse this chat! What kind of failed priest am I?

Yodoshi and Carabus

Post by Poland can into spacees other accounts suppressed by a moderator.

Post self-deleted by Demonos.

Unfortunately, Eurovision 2020 was cancelled. Fortunately, that doesn’t mean we have to wait a year for some lovely songs. Enter Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga. Helmed by the comedian Will Ferrell and the always brilliant Rachel McAdams, this film not only gave a touch of silliness, but several excellent (mostly fictional) songs to assuage the agony of going an entire year without ruthlessly tearing down other nations (“Arcade” should never have won) have been granted to us. The only question now is this: which song reigns supreme?

page=poll/p=160461

Demonos, Yodoshi, and Carabus

Does anyone want to go on the Poland express?

Buer the demon

As I look over the flames licking at my windowsill, I see local fiends who're infected with C19 for the first time today. Could that possibly mean it's not really an antifa conspiracy?!?

Yodoshi and Carabus

«12. . .316317318319320321322. . .476477»

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