The No Love Without Pain of Thousand Branches is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Madam Victoria with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, state-planned economy, and enforced nudity. The compassionate, devout population of 5.519 billion Branchians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Environment, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Ashas. The average income tax rate is 76.9%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Thousand Branchesian economy, worth 393 trillion Petis a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, broadly diversified black market in Tourism. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 71,283 Petis, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A paperwork error has naval privateers being directed to attack land-locked nations, classes are regularly interrupted by drunken children, vital infrastructure development is on hold because of 'nature and stuff', and the government is giving peace a chance. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Thousand Branches's national animal is the Bumblebee, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Unishiss.

Thousand Branches is ranked 278,298^th in the world and 73^rd in International Democratic Union for Most Patriotic, with 0.57 flags saluted per person per day.