The Socialist Federal Republic of Slyakanya is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Aleksandr Vovkov with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rampant corporate plagiarism, aversion to nipples, and multi-spousal wedding ceremonies. The compassionate, democratic population of 7.856 billion Slyakanians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Healthcare, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Rostov. The average income tax rate is 95.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Slyakanian economy, worth a remarkable 1,050 trillion Akchas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 133,702 Akchas, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The countryside is shrouded by wind farms, 'The Anti-Government Hour' is a popular programme on many of Slyakanya's radio stations, discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation is illegal, and the carbon tax fund gladly supplies warm blankets when the poor can't pay their heating bills. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Slyakanya's national animal is the Brown Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Slyakanya is ranked 7,224^th in the world and 265^th in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring 2,228.54 on the Clooney Contribution Index.