The Federal Republic of Drunken Seal Islands is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by jizzmaster zero with an even hand, and renowned for its anti-smoking policies, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and irreverence towards religion. The compassionate population of 19.095 billion Sealsmen are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, corrupt, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bogania. The average income tax rate is 97.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Drunken Seal Islandsian economy, worth a remarkable 2,961 trillion Krangs a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 155,076 Krangs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Troops are either deafened by gunfire or a hysterical voice screaming the Party manifesto, a flying elephant and jizzmaster zero share the same nickname, drug deals return to the streets as legions of undercover officers stalk the dark web, and access to the woods is only granted to those who bring a small shrubbery. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Drunken Seal Islands's national animal is the Drop Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Boganism.

Drunken Seal Islands is ranked 217,716^th in the world and 3,736^th in The East Pacific for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -3.79 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.