The Federation of Quetesia is a very large, orderly nation, notable for its avowedly heterosexual populace, state-planned economy, and prohibition of alcohol. The compassionate, cynical, devout population of 179 million Quetesians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The enormous, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Education, and Administration. The average income tax rate is 70.4%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Quetesian economy, worth 6.60 trillion Qwerties a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Door-to-door Insurance Sales, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 36,855 Qwerties, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Lovesick people are told 'it's not them, it's you', government employees have reverted to carrier pigeon due to never-ending virus scans, every workday begins with group therapy, and young criminals are told they'll go to bed without supper if they do it again. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Quetesia's national animal is the Quetesian Tiger, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Quetesia is ranked 205,136^th in the world and 4^th in The Allied Nations for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring -1.79 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.