The United Socialist States of Kelticas is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Nara Lothar with a fair hand, and notable for its state-planned economy, keen interest in outer space, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.77 billion Kelticasians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karas. The average income tax rate is 74.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but inefficient Kelticasian economy, worth 69.3 trillion kentis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Tourism. Average income is 39,177 kentis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication, nude art is becoming wildly popular, Kelticasians suffer not the eggplant emoji to live, and diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelticas's national animal is the reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kelticas is ranked 284,291^st in the world and 10,921^st in Lazarus for Most Patriotic, with 0.39 flags saluted per person per day.