The Democratic Republic of SetiCrunchers is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by SetiCruncher with an iron fist, and notable for its zero percent divorce rate, public floggings, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 37.169 billion SetiCrunchersians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Defense, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of SetiCrunchers City. The average income tax rate is 98.8%.

The frighteningly efficient SetiCrunchersian economy, worth a remarkable 9,434 trillion data packets a year, is led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 253,837 data packets, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Money that should have gone to charities is instead spent on monitoring them, the institution of marriage is held sacred and strictly enforced, Jennifer Government is a bestseller, and all tariffs have been abolished. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. SetiCrunchers's national animal is the radio observatory, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

SetiCrunchers is ranked 287,663^rd in the world and 136^th in Canada for Most Primitive, scoring -531.73 on the Scary Big Number Scale.