The Authoritarian Utopia of Relmont is a huge, orderly nation, ruled by Herroph IV with an iron fist, and renowned for its state-planned economy, aversion to nipples, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, cynical population of 907 million Relmonins are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Administration, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karmiring. The average income tax rate is 55.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Relmonian economy, worth 70.7 trillion Relmont Standard Dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, Uranium Mining, and Beef-Based Agriculture. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 77,910 Relmont Standard Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.8 times as much as the poorest.

Weekends are spent tilting at windmills, the Treasury has been accused of flushing money down the toilet, even snitches get stitches, and drunk drivers are sent to rehabilitation paid for by the government. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Relmont's national animal is the Peregrine Falcon, which can occasionally be seen dodging aircraft in the nation's cities.

Relmont is ranked 272,393^rd in the world and 10,008^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 56 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.