The Free Land of MitkoSLand is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Mitko with a fair hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, anti-smoking policies, and national health service. The hard-nosed, democratic, cheerful population of 18.067 billion MitkoSLandians enjoy extensive civil freedoms, particularly in social issues, while business tends to be more regulated.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of MitkoSCity. The average income tax rate is 9.5%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient MitkoSLandian economy, worth a remarkable 3,645 trillion Mitkoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 201,760 Mitkoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass, forgetting to pay your annual passport bill is a leading cause of deportations, board shorts have replaced board rooms, and The Pipe Bomb Makers' Pop-Up Book can be found in preschool libraries. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. MitkoSLand's national animal is the Shark, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

MitkoSLand is ranked 289,258^th in the world and 138^th in Canada for Most Primitive, scoring -621.14 on the Scary Big Number Scale.