The United Socialist States of Kelticas is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Nara Lothar with a fair hand, and renowned for its state-planned economy, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 1.666 billion Kelticasians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Karas. The average income tax rate is 73.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The sizeable but underdeveloped Kelticasian economy, worth 47.7 trillion kentis a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Basket Weaving. Average income is 28,623 kentis, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Films are funded in accordance with the volume of tears shed when reading the screenplay, doctors ask for written consent before making eye contact with patients, high-income earners pay a 100% tax rate, and politicians spend more time in courtrooms than in Parliament. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Kelticas's national animal is the reindeer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Kelticas is ranked 103,347^th in the world and 5,004^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring 66 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.