by Max Barry

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Auphelia wrote:Schedule in a three hours block for a murder spree tomorrow. It's been too long since the region has cowered in fear. I'm thinking we'll start near Quiescent and work our way towards Aidenfieeld. If we have time after, we can see if anyone is in the Delegate Mansion.

*hides in safety bunker of safety*

Iym Winterless wrote:*blinks*

No its fine now. I beheaded the leader. Now its time to go agaist the bad person

Auphelia wrote:Snores?

Oh, that's not what that was.

. . .

It's probably best if you never find out.

Schedule in a three hours block for a murder spree tomorrow. It's been too long since the region has cowered in fear. I'm thinking we'll start near Quiescent and work our way towards Aidenfieeld. If we have time after, we can see if anyone is in the Delegate Mansion.

I have it on good authority the delegate mansion will be getting fumigated tomorrow to try and finally rid us of that dreadful raccoon issue we've been having!

Beepee wrote:I have it on good authority the delegate mansion will be getting fumigated tomorrow to try and finally rid us of that dreadful raccoon issue we've been having!

Oh, how dreadful.

I was hoping we could have had raccoon ragout, but now with all of those chemicals the taste will be off.

Auphelia wrote:Oh, how dreadful.

I was hoping we could have had raccoon ragout, but now with all of those chemicals the taste will be off.

*squints*

huh

Iym Winterless wrote:*squints*

huh

Don't squint, darling.

Once you get wrinkles, no man will ever want you.

Auphelia wrote:Don't squint, darling.

Once you get wrinkles, no man will ever want you.

Iím... a straight male...

*Is confused*

Auphelia wrote:Don't squint, darling.

Once you get wrinkles, no man will ever want you.

Let your eyes crinkle, let your skin wrinkle. Our lines show that we've lived.

If he doesn't love you when you look like a map, tell him to hit the road.

Iym Winterless wrote:Iím... a straight male...

*Is confused*

Gender assumptions are quite common on the internet... like how everyone thinks Iím a dude when they first talk to me here...

Iym Winterless wrote:Iím... a straight male...

*Is confused*

If you're not confused, you're not doing TSP right.

Beepee wrote:Let your eyes crinkle, let your skin wrinkle. Our lines show that we've lived.

Alamak! Why would you want anyone to know you've lived?!

That sounds positively awful.

Beepee wrote:If he doesn't love you when you look like a map, tell him to hit the road.

There's nothing like vehicular manslaughter to liven up a relationship.

Steampunk Engineers wrote:Gender assumptions are quite common on the internet... like how everyone thinks Iím a dude when they first talk to me here...

Maybe itís because I put a lot of work into Tsul?

Her level of character development would make one assume I am a female...

Iym Winterless wrote:Maybe itís because I put a lot of work into Tsul?

Her level of character development would make one assume I am a female...

I dunno, I thought you were a male at least.
Mainly because you focused on the beauty of that character when describing

Steampunk Engineers wrote:I dunno, I thought you were a male at least.
Mainly because you focused on the beauty of that character when describing

I wanted to make a villain that people would think of as not a villain

Auphelia wrote:If you're not confused, you're not doing TSP right.

Alamak! Why would you want anyone to know you've lived?!

That sounds positively awful.

There's nothing like vehicular manslaughter to liven up a relationship.

Hm.

Iym Winterless wrote:I wanted to make a villain that people would think of as not a villain

Fair enough

Steampunk Engineers wrote:I dunno, I thought you were a male at least.
Mainly because you focused on the beauty of that character when describing

Oh, I most certainly assumed they were of the male variety (a shame, really). I simply enjoy the little things in life, like making others uncomfortable.

Iym Winterless wrote:Maybe itís because I put a lot of work into Tsul?

Her level of character development would make one assume I am a female...

Level of character development, putting more words into describing her appearance (which received an "upgrade" post-death) than her personality, past, or motivation . . . it's all the same, really.

Steampunk Engineers wrote:Gender assumptions are quite common on the internet... like how everyone thinks Iím a dude when they first talk to me here...

A woman?

As an engineer?

Oh, you are quite silly. Si-topia was like that once, but now she is in the Auphelia School for Proper Young Ladies and knows her only goals should be to find a man, learn to walk with a stack of books on her head, and eat soup without slurping.

Classes begin at 06:00. Don't be late.

Auphelia wrote:A woman?

As an engineer?

Oh, you are quite silly. Si-topia was like that once, but now she is in the Auphelia School for Proper Young Ladies and knows her only goals should be to find a man, learn to walk with a stack of books on her head, and eat soup without slurping.

Classes begin at 06:00. Don't be late.

Whatís wrong with me being an engineer?
... I donít think Iíll be attending those classes

Steampunk Engineers wrote:Whatís wrong with me being an engineer?
... I donít think Iíll be attending those classes

Pity.

Well, I suppose you wouldn't have liked the location. The white sand beaches of the Maldives are notoriously dull, after all.

Auphelia wrote:Pity.

Well, I suppose you wouldn't have liked the location. The white sand beaches of the Maldives are notoriously dull, after all.

No, is not the location, just what it is teaching...

Steampunk Engineers wrote:No, is not the location, just what it is teaching...

Do you think you are above the education befitting a proper young lady?

Do you know how to delicately bite into chocolates? Do you know how to use a fainting couch? Do you know how to properly wear luxurious dresses and magnificent jewels? Do you know to properly use a household staff?

As the school motto states: "Use Him, Abuse Him, Lose Him". We are an organisation dedicated to teaching young women how to trap older, richer men into marriage. You can afford the luxury of a career in engineering after you have snared yourself a palm oil tycoon or the scion of a property management empire.

Auphelia wrote:Do you think you are above the education befitting a proper young lady?

Do you know how to delicately bite into chocolates? Do you know how to use a fainting couch? Do you know how to properly wear luxurious dresses and magnificent jewels? Do you know to properly use a household staff?

As the school motto states: "Use Him, Abuse Him, Lose Him". We are an organisation dedicated to teaching young women how to trap older, richer men into marriage. You can afford the luxury of a career in engineering after you have snared yourself a palm oil tycoon or the scion of a property management empire.

... I doubt thatíll help me... Iím not exactly into men...

Steampunk Engineers wrote:... I doubt thatíll help me... Iím not exactly into men...

That's not the point, dear. We don't betray other women by using them for their money; how uncouth!

The point is to drain wealthy men of their money and move on to the next victim, until you yourself are rich enough to afford to love who you want.

Only a rich woman can afford not to marry.

Auphelia wrote:That's not the point, dear. We don't betray other women by using them for their money; how uncouth!

The point is to drain wealthy men of their money and move on to the next victim, until you yourself are rich enough to afford to love who you want.

Only a rich woman can afford not to marry.

I... donít... if I say this is unethical I can tell you wonít care and have some cleverly worded response... so... I need an escape!
*jumps out the window*

Linguiniland

Auphelia wrote:That's not the point, dear. We don't betray other women by using them for their money; how uncouth!

The point is to drain wealthy men of their money and move on to the next victim, until you yourself are rich enough to afford to love who you want.

Only a rich woman can afford not to marry.

One of these days one of the great goddesses recruits are going to realize theyíre being recruited into a BrontŽ-esque cult.

Message From SPSF: Tidal Force

Have you been looking for a quick, easy way for you to get involved in the South Pacific? Something simple and meaningful? If so, joining Tidal Force is the choice for you! Tidal Force was created with you in mind, a system that allows anyone interested to get involved! By spending a couple of minutes every day, you would be fighting for democracy and stability across Nationstates!

If this hasn't convinced you enough, or you would like to learn more, read the Dispatch below! Additional questions can be asked by sending a TG to this nation, or contacting Tidal Force Coordinator, Miravana, on the regional discord! (Miravana#9336)

.

South Pacific Special Forces
.

Welcome to the SPSF Tidal Force!

Twice a day, NationStates updates, and delegates change all over the world. Some warriors appear only at the height of the battle. Like the tide, the SPSF Tidal Force flow to their target all through the day.

If you canít or donít want to update (the times - 12 AM and 12 PM EST - can be very inconvenient!), donít have time to learn the ins and outs of military gameplay, but still want to contribute to the South Pacific, then the Tidal Force is for you.


What does the SPSF Tidal Force do?

  • Washes away traces of raiders from native regions

  • Supports SPSF Update Force missions

  • Supports our allies when in need


How do I sign up?

You need only three things to sign up to the Tidal Force:

  • An email address, so you can join the World Assembly.

  • A nation in TSP. This is your main nation, and we will send orders to it.

  • A second nation, known as a Ďpuppetí. If you donít already have one, click here to make one. This nation is the one you will use to participate on missions. All actions such as moving to other regions, endorsing nations, etc. in military operations will be performed using this nation. (You don't want the enemy to know your true identity, after all.)

Finally, to apply, follow these steps:

  • If your main nation is admitted to the World Assembly, resign now.

  • Log in to your puppet nation, or create it if you have not done so already.

  • Go to the Settings page.

  • Add your email address into the E-mail box near the bottom of the Settings page (make sure this is the same e-mail address as on your main nation if you already have one).

  • Pick out one of our SPSF Flags from the folder and upload it as your puppet nation's flag!

  • Apply to join the World Assembly with your puppet nation.

  • Check your e-mail, and confirm your admittance into the World Assembly (applications should arrive in around a minute or less).

  • Join our LinkDiscord for further instructions and training

  • If you don't want to or can't join Discord, send a telegram to SPSF Tidal Force, Witchcraft and Sorcery, Melicorium, or Imperial Dodo that looks like this (example below):


Hello. I would like to join the SPSF Tidal Force.

My main nation is Witchcraft and Sorcery
My puppet nation is Switchcraft and Endorsery


Now what?

Whenever we have a mission, it will be made known to you via discord, this dispatch, and a post tagging your nation on the Regional Message Board. If there are no current orders, you may return to the region and endorse the Delegate and all members of the CRS. In general you can expect to be on missions most of the time - we aim for at least one new mission every day.

When you're given a mission, these are things you might be asked to do:

  • Move to a region - you'll be given a region link. Click on it and look for the "Move to this region" button.

  • Endorse a nation - scroll to the bottom of the nation page and click the endorse button. You can only do this if both nations are in the region.

  • Cross-endorse on a nation - click the endorse button. Check the list of other nations who have endorsed that nation, and endorse them too.

  • Cross-endorse in the region - look for other SPSF nations in the region and endorse them all. You should be able to recognise them by their SPSF flags.

If you become delegate, we expect you to treat the region with care and don't do anything you weren't told to! You might be asked to do these things:

  • Detag the region - this washes away the advertisements raiders have left on a region. We have a guide to this here: page=dispatch/id=1190714

  • Tag the region - this claims a region for the SPSF. An officer will let you know what to do.

  • Ban and eject a nation - go to the nation's page, scroll down to the bottom and click "Ban and eject". You may not have enough influence to ban the nation yet - don't worry, just wait another day for your influence to grow.


This page will be updated with missions the Tidal Force have done!

transatlantic_treaty_of_defense - Melix, Swifty, Langburn, Eshialand
libertarian_states_of_leave_us_alone - WS, Melix, Langburn, Eshialand
Demeter - Melix, Langburn
Interregional Industries - Swifty, Melix, WS, Eshialand, Herp
The Galactic Order - Swifty, Conexia, Herp
Right Wing Libertarian Party - Swifty, Melix, WS, Eshialand
Vorkuta - Swifty, Melix, WS, Herp
International Safety Defense Alliance - Melix, WS, Langburn
Anhalt - Melix, WS, Trozzo
Sinic States - Melix, WS, Eshialand, Trozzo
We live on - Melix, Swifty, WS, Eshialand, Trozzo, (Palayain)
Region JK - WS, Melix, Langburn, Eshialand, Trozzo
Imperialist Realms - WS, Eshialand, Trozzo, Herp
Union Socialista Bonslevique - WS, Trozzo
The empire of burgertopia - Melix, Trozzo, Herp
Imperial County - Melix, WS, Conexia
The New Galactic Democratic Republic - Melix, WS, Langburn, Trozzo, Eshialand
Capitalist States - Melix, Langburn
North Africa (Longer-term liberation support) -


This is the SPSF Tidal Force roster!

Witchcraft and Sorcery - Minister of Defense
-Missions: 13

Melicorium - Tidal Force Coordinator
- Missions: 15

Imperial Dodo - Tidal Force Coordinator
- Missions: 6

The Langburn Islands
- Missions: 7

The Nootish Hivemind
- Missions:

Eshialand/Klysevia
- Missions: 9

Azaante/Bosumtwi
- Missions:

Cocao/Chocolate Agents
- Missions:

Trozzo
- Missions: 8

Hong Cong
- Missions:

Conexia
- Missions: 2

The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp
- Missions: 5


Have any questions?
Our Minister of Defense Witchcraft and Sorcery (WynkenBlynken#1150) and General Roavin (Roavin#5410), as well as Tidal Force Coordinators Imperial Dodo (swiftygamer#1448) and Melicorium (Hoy Vux#1391) will be happy to help!
Read dispatch

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