by Max Barry

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Grr. Arg.

by Max Barry
Mon, 01 Apr 2013

A few nations are reporting a mild uptick in infection rates of a flu-like illness, it seems. But this is nothing to worry about. Everyone should remain calm.

Update: The illness seems to be more widespread than previously thought. But it's okay. The important thing is not to panic.

Update 2: It's time to panic. The infected are everywhere. Unless you take immediate action, they will destroy us all.

To assist efforts to contain the outbreak, we have made available Infection Charts for the world and for each individual nation and region. You may click on the labels (e.g. "Survivors") to add/remove a line from the graph, which is useful for identifying horrifyingly geometrical trends in the underlying data.

We have also established a Zombie Emergency Command Center for co-ordinating defense strategies.

Good luck.

Update 3: Oh, the humanity! The dwindling, infected humanity!

Here's what we know:

  • The fastest way to reduce the number of infected in your nation is to turn the military against them. This converts infected citizens into dead citizens.

  • The infected can spread between nations within the same region. In very infectious regions, it may become impossible for nations to hold off the zombies via military force alone.

  • Several regions have managed to contain the outbreak by having multiple nations research a cure. When only a small minority do research, however, this appears less successful.

  • Both the military and research options become decreasingly effective the fewer survivors you have.

Some (current) success stories: Nederland, The Vast, Esquarium, Holdania, The NationStates Community.

Some horror stories: The Moon, The Kodiak Republic, Haven, Equinox.

Update 4: Well, the world seems to have divided neatly into regions where the infected population is small, controlled, and well cared for, and regions being devoured by endless zombie hordes. There's not much middle ground left out there.

But I have good news! The end is in sight! Cure research will soon make a solution available on a global level! This means...

The apocalypse will end in ended 8 years 20 days ago.

In the meantime, I present: The Z-Day Tally Board! Which regions will have the most survivors by the end of the apocalypse?

Update 5: The Z-Day Tally Board now also ranks regions by "Most Survivors with No Infected." Currently leading is Noctur, a safe haven for 110 billion people. But that's a fragile ranking! It only takes one infected to cross the border...

Update 6: It's over! It's over! At long last, the nightmare is over!

The "Survivors" numbers were starting to rise at the end there... so it's a happy ending! I mean, not for the dead. Which is 79% of the global population. But for everyone else, excluding those infected in overrun nations who will now starve to death, it's pretty happy! Happiness is relative.

Thanks for being a part of another April 1st on NationStates! For the next few days, infection data and charts will remain available via little "Z-Day" links on nation and region pages. Then they'll go away. So if you want a permanent record, you might want to screenshot that.

A complete log file of the crisis, which includes numbers for every nation and region in the world, hour by hour, will also be made available soon. This will be enormous and difficult for anyone to process, but it will be there. Because analysis is fun.

Should we do this again? I'm just putting it out there. Because this time, it would actually be practical to run a Z-Day on a regular basis... say, annually for Halloween. I think we would need to ramp up the potency of zombie exporters, since everybody would be better prepared for the apocalypse. But it could be done.

Special thanks this year to our moderators! They put a lot of work into this day each year, including BRRAAAAINstorming ideas, which I then just pick the eyes out of. So to speak.

And congratulations to those regions that managed to fend off the threat! The Z-Day Tally Board changed a lot at the end, as regions jostled for position. There were some devious moves. Some exchanging of moral virtue for higher rankings. But it's life and death. You have to make hard decisions.

Thank you for being a part of NationStates!

Update 7: 87MB zip file of Z-Day infection rate logs right here, if you're into that kind of thing.