The Safest in Spiritus
World Census agents tested the sharpness of household objects, the softness of children's play equipment, and the survival rate of people taking late walks to determine how safe each nation is to visit.
 | Nation | WA Category | Motto | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1. |  The Constitutional Republic of Urran | Civil Rights Lovefest Nation-Hating Hippies | “Seek Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly With Your God” | |
| 2. |  The Snowy Paradise of Mjaumjau | Democratic Socialists Hell | “Who like short shorts?” | |
| 3. |  The Land of Feirmont | Scandinavian Liberal Paradise Gay Marriage State | “Wamp Wamp” | |
| 4. | The Republic of Colonalia | Liberal Democratic Socialists Ivory Tower Reality Disconnect Zone | “Stand Strong” | |
| 5. |  The Potato-Poet of The Salaxalans | Democratic Socialists Hell | “Two potatoes for all!” | |
| 6. |  The Spudtacular Matriarchy of Pulsroth | Corrupt Dictatorship Corrupt Liberal Dictatorship | “Protect the land, keep your towel close to hand!” | |
| 7. |  The Community of The Kaaion | Scandinavian Liberal Paradise Gay Marriage State | “Twirling Toward Freedom” | |
| 8. | The Republic of Bustined Up | Civil Rights Lovefest Nation-Hating Hippies | “You got all Bustin'd Up” | |
| 9. |  The Commune of The Free Lands of Lothlorien | Left-wing Utopia Drugged-Out Hippies | “Equality, Liberty, Prosperity” | |
| 10. |  The Federated Theocratic States of Chicken Nuggets and Beans | Moralistic Democracy Ordinary Decent Hardworking People | “What if you wanted to go to heaven, but God said no.” |
