by Max Barry

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The Fattest Citizens in Minnesota

World Census takers tracked the sale of Cheetos and Twinkies to ascertain which nations most enjoyed the "kind bud."

As a region, Minnesota is ranked 7,246th in the world for Fattest Citizens.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The State of LapidaAnarchy Lawless Wasteland“Union”
2.The Queendom of TDPCAnarchy Lawless Wasteland“State”
3.The Queen's State of TeukbyeolsiCorporate Bordello Patriotic Business Zone“Benefit Broadly the Human World”
4.The Republic of The Orion SwordBenevolent Dictatorship Temporary Conservative State of Emergency“The sword points north”
5.The State of SnelltownNew York Times Democracy New York Crimes So-Called Democracy“State”
6.The State of Nordiska StaterCivil Rights Lovefest Nation-Hating Hippies“Nordförbundet”
7.The State of ReykjanesbearPsychotic Dictatorship Communist Dictatorship“In a State of Fear”
8.The State of OslostaadPsychotic Dictatorship Communist Dictatorship“State”
9.The State of KrachtmannPsychotic Dictatorship Communist Dictatorship“State”