by Max Barry

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The Safest in Lardyland

World Census agents tested the sharpness of household objects, the softness of children's play equipment, and the survival rate of people taking late walks to determine how safe each nation is to visit.

As a region, Lardyland is ranked 13,517th in the world for Safest.

NationWA CategoryMotto
1.The Republic of Waterfallean 2Left-wing Utopia Drugged-Out Hippies“Might Makes Right”
2.The Memery of North CromchScandinavian Liberal Paradise Gay Marriage State“Stonks.”
3.The Intergalactic Trailer Park of CoomlagNew York Times Democracy New York Crimes So-Called Democracy“tony soprano state”
4.The Sashmugan of Captian LardIron Fist Socialists Inevitably Bloody Result of Liberal Ideals Mugged By Reality“Hail Spam! Hail Swedes!”
5.The Nomadic Peoples of Lardyland Peronist RebellionDemocratic Socialists Hell“JOIN THE LARPERs!”
6.The Confederacy of Scarre MyshicIron Fist Socialists Inevitably Bloody Result of Liberal Ideals Mugged By Reality“Mission Accomplished”
7.The Gameplayer of the Year of BruhgundyIron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce“I eat liberations for breakfast”
8.The Republic of West KerchInoffensive Centrist Democracy Communists“........”
9.The Great Hero of MasterSpamChiefIron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce“The Master Chief of Spam”
10.The Rogue Nation of DSN91Moralistic Democracy Ordinary Decent Hardworking People“Twirling Toward Freedom”
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