Aaand I am not
Gen-Sec candidates if they were football clubs
- Kuriko: the well-established club with a long history, is very respected, and has a lot of success
- Trans-Anarcho Communist Lesbian Catgirls: the club that is taking the league by storm and has attracted tons of new fans
- Caelapes: the club that has won so many times that people want them to not win anymore
- Valentine Z: the club that is also well-liked and respected but more of an upper-middle one instead of at the top
- McMasterdonia: one of the big clubs that has lagged behind the top ones a little bit
- Jocospor: the club owned by oil money and has a plastic fanbase
I never was a SocDem in my life but I was a radical communist many years ago
And I am ashamed of that up untill now ;-;
- East coast tends to vote Liberal
- Ontario is also fairly Liberal
- BC favours the NDP
- Quebec is all over the place but tends to hate the Conservatives
- Alberta, Saskatchewan, and Manitoba tend to go back and forth between the NDP and Conservatives
Alberta and Sasaktchewan are dominated by the Cons and BC is all over the place especially in Vancouver.
Kuriko - Man Utd
TACLC - 2015–16 Leicester
Caelapes - Bayern possibly
Valentine Z - probably Newcastle
McM - Dortmund
Jocospor - definitely PSG
Birth name: Muhammad Laver Islandson
Born: August 2, 1980
Viking metal ● folk metal ● thrash metal ● rap
Songwriter ● politician ● guitarist
Instruments: Lead guitar
Years active: 1992, 1994–present
Labels: Nuclear Blast ● Loudwire ● Metal Injection
Associated acts: Amon Amarth ● Eluveitie ● Opeth ● Lil' Muhamid
Muhammed Laver Islandson (born August 2, 1980) is an Danish songwriter, politician, and guitarist. He is best known as the lead guitarist of Amon Amarth, and for being the Prime Minister of Thaecia.
Muhammed Laver Islandson was born August 2nd, 1980, in Hell, Norway. His parents, Hamood and Fatima, began instilling Islamic values in Laver at a very young age, even though he is ethnically European. Interestingly, Laver's mother, Fatima, is the aunt of Orient, the mother of Diz Yemum Govzy, making Diz Laver's 1st cousin once removed. Laver's childhood consisted of going to mosque, fasting, and jihad. However, by the age of 11, Laver started to feel the power of Odin. He left the Islamic faith and converted to paganism, and also dropped "Muhammed" from his name. As well, he rapped for a while under the name "Lil' Muhamid", although no career was made from this. When he was 13, Laver failed No Nut November when he went on a trip to Lindesfarne. Laver got his first pagan tattoo at the age of 14, when he, along with Joakim Brodén and Chris Adler, formed the EDM band Amon Amarth.
Laver met his future spouse Scarlett when touring in the god-forsaken place known as the Midlands. Although he was only 16, when he saw her face in the crowd, he knew he found the girl of his dreams. After the show, Laver asked Scarlett if she wanted to settle Iceland with him, to which she said yes. Laver lost his virginity on February 14, 2020, making him the most recent successor to The 40 Year Old Virgin.
At the age of 12 in 1992, Laver began rapping for friends under the name "Lil' Muhamid". He produced one album before his parents took him to their imam to tell it to knock it off. The album was entitled "Jihadin' Yo Girl" and contained 14 tracks plus a skit. The first section was written while Laver still practiced Islam. The album never saw international release and was criticized for its poor quality and offensive language. Particularly controversial in the Hell music scene was Laver's use of racial slurs, which he defended by saying that it was not haram.
1- Jihadin' Yo Girl (3:02)
2- N****s fo' Allah (2:29)
3- Haram B*tch (3:19)
4- Infidel (1:48)
5- Allahu Akbar (5:13)
6- I Love My 14 Sex Slaves Very Much (0:56)
7- Jihadin Yo Girl (Reprise) (1:04)
Skit- I Changed My Mind, Islam Is Dumb (0:30)
8- Odin Gang (4:20)
9- Raidin' Yo Girl's Port (3:12)
10- I'd Rather Go to Valhalla Than Mosque (4:48)
11- F***ing Your Mom With Mjölner (5:35)
12- Longboat, Longd**k (4:02)
13- I Wanna Invade You (2:05)
14- Odin Gang (Reprise) (1:34)
Laver met Joakim Brodén and Chris Adler while the two were touring with their previous bands, Opeth and Pantera. Reportedly, he showed them a song he had written called "Twilight of the Thunder God" and the two liked it so much that they recruited him as their guitarist. After releasing demos and 5 albums, the trio recruited bassist Oliver Riedel (formally Feeling B and OOMPH!) and rhythm guitarist Joe Duplantier (Betraying the Martyrs) for their new album, With Odin on our Side in 2006. This turned out to be the last album with Amon Amarth for a long time, as the band decided to release him after refusing to face anywhere other than Mecca during his shows.
In 2007, Laver helped form the band Eluveitie with former Arch Enemy member Tatiana Shmailyuk. He wrote the song Inis Mona in 2008, which became one of the band's most popular songs. However, in 2008, Amon Amarth released his old song, "Twilight of the Thundergod" without citing Laver as the writer of the track. Laver was so furious that he sued his former band, although the lawsuit ended after Laver continually called Adler haram. Laver ended up leaving the music industry entirely.
After quitting Eluveitie, Laver entered politics. His policies have been described as national conservative and populist libertarian. Laver founded the Danish Social Democratic Party in 2009, was elected to the European Parliament, and became the party's leader when a man told him on the street that he had a quote, "smol pp". Laver took offence to this, before thinking about his political ideology and realizing that the man was right. He founded a new party, Alternativ für Danmark, before becoming the Prime Minister of Denmark. A vote was held in 2017 to change the name of the country to Thaecia, which passed. Laver passed a law to make Paganism the official religion of Thaecia, to which his parents decided that they had had enough. Laver was put in time-out by his mother Fatima, and was forced to resign from the office of Prime Minister.
Laver was reelected in January 2020 and is currently working on legislation to make his song "Bleed For Ancient Gods" the national anthem of Denmark.
Return to Amon Amarth (2018-Present)
After Laver's replacement in Amon Amarth, Cliff Burton, committed suicide, the band requested that Laver rejoin starting on their new album, The Great War. Laver accepted with the caveat that he would get royalties for the songs he had written on albums that he did not appear on.
Joining Opeth (2019)
After releasing The Great War, Laver requested to temporarily join the band Opeth as its rhythm guitarist, Oswald Osbourne, was suffering from alcoholism. Laver had previously helped to record Whitewater Apartment Complex, so he was already known by the band. He has been touring with Opeth since their release of Fear Innoculum.
Laver has been married to Scarlett since 1996, even though they were both 16. Their first child, Silver Islands passed away in 2016 at the age of 17 from an overdose. Their second child, The Mongol Plain, is currently a financial analyst on the East Coast of the United States. Laver famously only lost his virginity on Valentine's Day in 2020, as soon as Mongol left the house. The children were produced by in vitro fertilization.
Have for like 2 months
Idk what kind of club Kuriko might be, Catgirls would be like Wolverhampton or Sheff United, Caelapes is like Juventus or Bayern, not sure what Val Z would be, McMasterdonia is like Man United, and Joc would be either PSG, Man City, or RB Leipzig (the last one isn't owned by oil interests but everyone hates them anyway).
Saskatchewan is currently Conservative but has a long history of voting NDP
BC has a provincial NDP-Green coalition government and can best be compared to California; Left. Very Left.