by Max Barry

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by The communist warden. . 1,915 reads.

#CommieFendasForSpellCheck


COMRADES! For too long have oppressive fascists and capitalists engaged in egregious subjugation in the form of spreading disinformation and ignorance through garish spelling of German words. We say - no longer! We shall cleanse these texts with the hammer and sickle of the Order of the Grey Wardens.

(I suppose you could call us ... Spelling Nazis? The irony!)


EMPIRICAL CONTRACTIONS


"Reichsweher" is WRONG. It should be "Reichswehr", which translates to the Army of the Empire. "Reichsweher", at best, means the Empire's Gust of Wind, and at worst the Empire's Contractions (as in during pregnancy). In other words, as Comrade Cormac wanted to be cool like drake and remarked, the Reich might think it's in labor but it's really just gas.


TO PROTEKT AND SERF


"Protektorates" - this communist German weeps for the proletariat. "Protektorat" as singular or "Protektorate" as plural would be correct German here. However, to make it actually seem German (and isn't that what the wehraboos want?), you would use the word "Schutzgebiet" as singular or "Schutzgebiete" as plural.


ENGRISH MUTTERFICKER


Not even English is safe! Either it's "their people" or "there, people". Or, it's this abomination. ENGLISCH, MUTTERFICKER,
SPRICHST DU ES?!


HOARDING ALL THE NAZI GOLD


I'll go out on a limb here, and assume that they meant "Reichsminister", which means a Minister of the Empire. "Reich Minister", in contrast, is grammatically wrong either way but assuming that the adjective was conjugated correctly, it means "Rich Minister". Yeah. That spelling is "rich" for sure.


OF THE PEOPLE'S WEIR


The nominative case, which would usually be used in this context, would be "Die Volkswehr". "Der Volkswehr" is therefore the genitive case, so "of the people's army". Even better, the translation as "The People's Defense" is wrong too, as "Wehr" in that context refers to any army, irrespective of whether they act offensively or defensively - and we all know that the nice Wehraboos of KAISERREICH love their (feeble attempts at) raiding. So instead, I assume they meant the other translation of the word, which is "weir", as in a water embankment. Hey, it didn't make sense before, either.




The communist warden

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