The Ice Spoon Incident

The chronicle of events as reported by the Arcane Network and the Bunbunmaru Newspaper:

Day 1

LOCAL MERCHANT ISAAC GOES MISSING AFTER DISPUTE NEAR GOUYOKU BORDER

The Village Assembly has opened a preliminary inquiry following the disappearance of Isaac, a 5'7 ft tall stall operator known for selling unusual trinkets and wearing a distinctive blue, white, and grey hoodie. Witnesses report that Isaac, described as a non-cooperative and skinny individual, had recently attempted to set up a stall in the contested borderlands near the Gouyoku Alliance’s trade route. He has not been seen since a brief altercation with Gouyoku patrols. His stall remains abandoned, and his whereabouts are unknown. The Good Harvest Alliance has expressed concern for the safety of independent traders in the region.

Day 5

DAIYOUSEI’S HORROR: “EW, WHAT IS THIS?”. BODY FOUND FLOATING IN LAKE

A tranquil morning at the Misty Lake was shattered when Daiyousei, a beloved fairy teacher, discovered the gruesome sight of the body of the missing merchant Isaac, floating face-down near the shore. Screaming “Ew, what is this!?”, she alerted the Fairy Corps, who immediately secured the area.

The Village Assembly, in an emergency session, authorized a full investigation. Initial suspicion fell on the local ice fairy Cirno due to the presence of ice around the body, but this theory was quickly dispelled by the investigating committee.

PETROLEUM CLUE BREAKS THE CASE: YOUKAI MOUNTAIN SCIENCE POINTS TO HELL

A breakthrough came when Aya Shameimaru of the Bunbunmaru newspaper presented a high-resolution photograph of the victim's face to a Kappa quality-control specialist. The analysis revealed a unique grade of petroleum residue on his skin. “This isn’t from the surface or the Genbu Ravine,” the Kappa confirmed. “This grade is processed. It comes from the Petroleum Sea in Hell.”

Armed with this evidence, Aya confronted the Gouyoku Alliance’s trade stall.

SPOONED TO THE LAKE: GOUYOKU MATRIARCH CONFESSES TO DOUBLE MURDER

In a shocking exclusive, the Matriarch of the Gouyoku Alliance, Toutetsu Yuuma, has admitted to the murder of merchant Isaac and a second, previously undiscovered victim.''He insulted me'', Yuuma was quoted as saying, referring to a note sent to Akiviet.''I will not be disrespected by people.'' She claimed Isaac was non-cooperative and that she killed him with her massive spoon, dumping his body into Misty Lake. Yuuma further revealed a second body, that of a man named Cakekay, was also disposed of in the same manner.

When asked if these were ritual sacrifices or work accidents, Yuuma reportedly dismissed the questions, stating only, “We dumped 2 people. That is all I know.''

Aya Shameimaru, the reporter who broke the story, commented,: "The Village Assembly will not be happy about this.''

Day 7

CRISIS SESSION: “SHE'S DECLARING OUR LAKE A DUMPING GROUND, SAYS AKIVIET

The Village Assembly convened an emergency meeting. The atmosphere was tense, with the Shinto Prayer Party bringing a ceremonial purification wand to ward off the bad omen of death.

President Phung Anh Dung addressed the Assembly: “Yuuma has declared that she will hire more people to drag bodies into Akiviet’s Misty Lake. This is a declaration to use our territory for body disposal. We need appropriate measures''

A heated debate ensued. A farmer from the Good Harvest Alliance pleaded for negotiation, warning of economic ruin without Gouyoku trade: '' "We cannot risk trade with Yuuma, Gouyoku has over 100k hungry spirits to feed, i would go bankrupt without them and my potatoes sales are always at maximum, her chickened fish is loved everywhere in the Village, please let's negotiate".

The Shinto Prayer Party representative demanded a hard line, suggesting Cirno a war for self defense and declared ''Yuuma is a menance and a spiritual threat, stop playing nice with them, you communists, we can freeze the lake so she cannot drop the bodies.'' Cirno, the self-proclaimed “⑨STRONGEST⑨,” enthusiastically agreed: “HELL YEAH, we gonna freeze her petroleum lake too!”

The President, seeking a diplomatic solution, silenced the debate with a heavy sigh.''Let us invite Yuuma to the Assembly. We need to discuss this''

Day 8

THE ICE SPOON INCIDENT: YUUMA'S MAD DASH THROUGH AKIVIET

What was meant to be a diplomatic negotiation descended into chaos. Before the Assembly could even issue its invitation, a note was delivered: ''the new guy Cakekay is a 5'0 person who has been killed too by I, Yuuma, and dumped into the lake. He had a philosophy book with him, he is fat, slow and has glasses.''

Yuuma then arrived uninvited. Witnesses reported seeing her cross the shallow Misty Lake, her horns larger and more formidable than ever, wielding a massive spike-tipped spork.

Rather than heading toward the Assembly hall, she attacked. The matriarch struck Daiyousei, who was near the shore, and began dragging her back toward Gouyoku territory. As villagers rushed to help the fairy, Yuuma struck her multiple times with the spork, shouting, “Do you want to join Isaac and Cakekay?”

From the village, President Phung watched in horror. “She’s not coming to negotiate.”

A desperate scene unfolded on the lakeshore. Cirno, leading the Fairy Corps, was the first to confront Yuuma. “AWAY WITH YOUR OILY HAND ON MAH FRIEND!” she cried, unleashing her spell card, “Perfect Freeze!” The ice slowed Yuuma’s movements, allowing Daiyousei to escape, though it also froze the villagers aiding her.

President Phung, using a megaphone from a safe distance, attempted to reason with the rampaging matriarch, appealing to their shared economic interests and asking for an end to the ''madness''.

Yuuma’s response was a loud and unintelligible scream into a larger megaphone. In a moment of absurdity, she slipped on the ice she was standing on and fell. Seemingly humbled, she agreed to stop. She then grabbed the bodies of Isaac and Cakekay, using them as fertilizer to remove them from the lake.

CIRNOVER: FAIRIES HAIL HERO AND THE KAPPA CLEANUP

With the crisis averted, President Phung bowed to Yuuma, and a truce was called. Fairy doctors tended to the fallen matriarch as Reimu Hakurei arrived, yawning, and declared the incident resolved before collecting her donation, a bag of precious coins and labour vouchers.

President Phung thanked Cirno for her bravery. ''You stood firm, the Republic thanks you. You’re a real comrade sister''

“She was gonna take Dai-chan!!” Cirno exclaimed, before President Phung could comment on the lake’s condition. “CIRNOVER,” she declared triumphantly.

A Kappa engineer was summoned to assess the damage, confirming the lake was clean but requiring a small cleanup program.

Day 9:

GOUYOKU'S MUSEUM OF CONTEMPT: “ENEMIES KILLED IN COMBAT''

In a dramatic display of power, Matriarch Yuuma announced new decrees from Gouyoku. All humans not affiliated with Gouyoku or Akiviet are now classified as illegals and banned from its territory. She has further declared Isaac and Cakekay ''enemies killed in combat'' and awarded herself the Yuuma Gold Spoon Award.

To immortalize her victory, Yuuma opened a public museum. The left display case holds Cakekay’s busted glasses and philosophy book, detailing his crime of disrespect. The right case holds Isaac’s glasses and a sandwich, his crime being ''looking at me funny.''

AKIVIET ADAPTS: CITIZENS IDs, EGG CRISIS AND NEW FIVE-YEAR PLAN

Akiviet responded to Gouyoku’s new hostilities by issuing bamboo-paper Citizen IDs to all its residents, with strict advice on how to behave in Gouyoku territory to avoid being classified as illegals.

Meanwhile, a new crisis of a egg surplus emerged at home. With chickens healthy and feed plentiful, the Aki Sisters warned the Assembly of an impending overproduction of two million eggs.''The people are tired of omelets!'' Minoriko Aki lamented.

In response, the Assembly crafted a new Five-Year Plan to convert thirty percent of egg production land to soybeans, fruit berries, and dairy herds. Negotiations with the Kappa for soybean technology are set to begin next week, aiming to boost milk and fish production and reduce reliance on Gouyoku’s controversial chickened fish.

Epilogue:

The Gouyoku trade stall reopened to a line of hungry citizens, proving that economic ties, however fraught, are hard to break. President Phung, focusing on the future, sent a formal invitation to Yuuma for a state dinner at the Scarlet Devil Mansion as a gesture of tribute and cautious diplomacy.