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by The Impeccably Arranged Snark of The West Pacific Master Dispatch. . 83 reads.

TWP Turkey Pardon 2022 - Gobbleberg Pardoned!



All your chocolate belongs to Darkesia

Pardoning of Gobbleberg

OFFICIAL DOCUMENT OF THE DELEGATE

The region of The West Pacific has once more held its traditional event of picking one turkey from a group of several to be pardoned.

In two very different stages, Gobbleberg was first chosen by the overall region by a close margin, but the proposal for his pardon was ultimately passed with almost all votes in favor.

It becomes obvious that the citizens of the Hall agree on the benefits of the deal with Gobbleberg for a special product, while rejecting all other fowls.

And after all, even despite many differences, macaws and turkeys are both birds, so it would be unfortunate for me to refuse the pardon.

Therefore, as Delegate of the West Pacific I, Giovanniland, hereby do pardon my fellow avian friend Gobbleberg.

P.S.: One source tells me that we couldn't locate the turkey anymore, but if that turns out to be true we'll honor him anyways and find a way to go forward with the deal.

So, what does someone do if they want to have a multiple seater open range family dinner? They do what they've been doing for the last few years and carves themselves a turkey. Anyway, the pardoning. Where do these turkeys go? Remember this is nothing to do with court summoning or value for money, it's just how worthy we think the potential meals are.

First of all, the investor and business owner Alan Berk. His companies have taken the world and more besides by storm, but all the achievements and connections in the world can't save his companies from collapsing all around him. Now that is undeniably a kicker, even with the ultimatum sent to employees to save him from the dinner plate there was a mass exodus and a couple of them took it upon themselves to fulfill our request for a cooked meal and delivered a freshly roasted magnate from Mars, along with complimentary blue food colouring, for free. We were never going to spare him anyway.

Now, Anita Cox. They are a bureaucrat, but the moment we needed them to go through some spreadsheets for the feast they decided to instead go on strike. Cox randomly turned up at the location and offered to work as our drag queen for the night, which we appreciated, but she was found passed out on the dining room floor. We suspect the copious amounts of glitter had a hand in it, including some decorating the wine glasses. It was decided that it would be pointless to let Cox go to waste and they ended up alongside Berk and a form detailing the exact protocols on how to properly savour the meal.

Right, now crucial point, Pavo Picaso. He has proven that art can take many forms and the form they choose, themselves, is one that deserves praise. Unfortunately for Picaso, he was too busy pondering his next self-art piece that he didn't notice the peafowl of unhappy peacocks approaching him from behind, seemingly unhappy because they accused him of ripping off their colourful style. Pavo was subsequently defaced. At least he'll be marveled at on our makeshift plate canvas before he is devoured.

That just leaves Gobbleberg. The chemist promises high quality products, and offered a special deal for us in exchange for sparing him from becoming a high quality product. Even though these products would come from an RV in the middle of scenic nowhere, these deals were good enough for us to consider the option. He guarantees no regrets and he seems trustworthy enough. Placing him upon the tray would mean losing out on these deals, a price that may not be worth paying.

So we must conclude that this letter be sent by the citizens of the land where the sun sets within a pack of cards to the flight-blessed one that perches himself upon the highest peak in the mortal realm, our local Card Czar, the Lavender Delegate, in hope that they may offer grace from the skies and deny Gobbleberg the wings of the afterlife.

Written by Hertfordshire and Jammbo

Layout by Bran Astor & Fujai
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