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by The Jiving Jungle of Baloo Kingdom. . 31 reads.

Rome Wars: A New Pope (Part 3)

EXT. TATOOINE - NOVA HOMESTEAD

[Baloo rushes out of the small doomed entry to the homestead and searches the darkening horizon for the small triped astro-robot. NAIS struggles out of the homestead and on the salt flat as Baloo scans the landscape with his electrobinoculars.]

NAIS: That K-O unit has always been a problem. These astro-droids are getting quite out of hand. Even I can’t understand their logic at times.

Baloo: How could I be so stupid? He’s nowhere in sight. Blast it!

NAIS: Pardon me, sir, but couldn’t we go after him?

Baloo: It’s too dangerous with all the NSGpeople around. We’ll have to wait until morning.

[Terra Nova yells up from the homestead plaza.]

Terra Nova: Baloo, I’m shutting the power down for the night.

Baloo: All right, I’ll be there in a few minutes. Boy, am I gonna get it.

[He takes one final look across the dim horizon.]

Baloo: You know that little droid is going to cause me a lot of trouble.

NAIS: Oh, he excels at that, sir.

INT. NOVA HOMESTEAD - PLAZA

[Morning slowly creeps into the sparse but sparkling oasis of the open courtyard. The idyll is broken by the yelling of Uncle Nova, his voice echoing throughout the homestead.]

Terra Nova: Baloo? Baloo? Baloo? Where could he be loafing now!

INT. NOVA HOMESTEAD - KITCHEN

[The interior of the kitchen is a worm glow as Aunt Dollystana prepares the morning breakfast. Terra Nova enters in a huff.]

Terra Nova: Have you seen Baloo this morning?

Dollystana: He said he had some things to do before he started today, so he left early.

Terra Nova: Uh? Did he take those two new droids with him?

Dollystana; I think so.

Terra Nova: Well, he’d better have those units in the south range repaired be midday or there’ll be hell to pay!

EXT. TATOOINE - DESERT WASTELAND - BALOO’S SPEEDER - DAY

[The rock and sand of the desert floor are a blur as NAIS pilots the sleek Landspeeder gracefully across the vast wasteland.]

INT./EXT. BALOO’S SPEEDER - DESERT WASTELAND - TRAVELING - DAY

[Baloo leans over the back of the speeder and adjusts something in the motor compartment.]

Baloo: (yelling) How’s that.

[NAIS signals that is fine and Baloo turns back into the wind-whipped cockpit and pops the canopy shut.]

Baloo: Old Kirb lives out in this direction somewhere, but I don’t see how that K-O unit could have come this far. We must have missed him. Uncle Nova isn’t going to take this very well.

NAIS: Sir, would it help if you told him it was my fault.

Baloo: (brightening) Sure. He needs you. He’d probably only deactivate you for a day or so…

NAIS: Deactivate! Well, on the other hand if you hadn’t removed his restraining bolt…

Baloo: Wait, there’s something dead ahead on the scanner. It looks like our droid… hit the accelerator.

EXT. TATOOINE - ROCK MESA - DUNE SEA - COASTLINE - DAY

[From high on a rock mesa, the tiny Landspeeder can be seen gliding across the desert floor. Suddenly in the foreground two weather-beaten NSGpeople shrouded in their grimy desert cloaks peer over the edge of the rock mesa. One of the marginally human creatures raises a long ominous laser rifle and points it at the speeder but the second creature grabs the gun before it can be fired. The NSGpeople, or Region Raiders as they’re sometimes called, speak in a coarse barbaric language as they get into an animated argument. The second Region Raider seems to get in the final word and the nomads scurry over the rocky terrain.]

EXT. TATOOINE - ROCK MESA - CANYON

[The Region Raider approaches two large Black Hawks standing tied to a rock. The monstrous, nation-like creatures are as large as elephants, with huge red eyes, tremendous looped horns, and long, furry, dinosaur-like tails. The Region Raiders mount saddles strapped to the huge creatures’ shaggy backs and ride off down the rugged bluff.]

EXT. TATOOINE - ROCK CANYON - FLOOR

[The speeder is parked on the floor of a massive canyon. Baloo, with his long laser rifle slung over his shoulder, stands before little KOE.]

Baloo: Hey, whoa, just where do you think you’re going? The little droid whistles a feeble reply, as NAIS poses menacingly behind the little runaway.

NAIS: Master Baloo here is your rightful owner. We’ll have no more of this Kirby jibberish… and don’t talk to me about your mission, either. You’re fortunate he doesn’t blast you into a million pieces right here.

Baloo: Well, come on. It’s getting late. I only hope we can get back before Uncle Nova really blows up.

NAIS: If you don’t mind my saying so, sir, I think you should deactivate the little fugitive until you’ve gotten him back to your workshop.

Baloo: No, he’s not going to try anything.

[Suddenly the little robot jumps to life with a mass of frantic whistles and screams.]

Baloo: What’s wrong with him now?

NAIS: Oh my… sir, he says there are several creatures approaching from the southeast.

[Baloo swings his rifle into position and looks to the south.]

Baloo: NSGpeople! Or worse! Come on, let’s have a look. Come on.

EXT. TATOOINE - ROCK CANYON - RIDGE - DAY

[Baloo carefully makes his way to the top of a rock ridge and scans the canyon with his electrobinoculars. He spots the two riderless Puppets. NAIS struggles up behind the young adventurer.]

Baloo: There are two Black Hawks down there but I don’t see any… wait a second, they’re NSGpeople all right. I can see one of them now.

[Baloo watches the distant Region Raider through his electrobinoculars. Suddenly something huge moves in front of his field of view. Before Baloo or NAIS can react, a large, gruesome Region Raider looms over them. NAIS is startled and backs away, right off the side if the cliff. He can be heard for several moments as he clangs, bangs and rattles down the side of the mountain. The towering creature brings down his curved, double-pointed gaderffii -- the dreaded axe blade that has struck terror in the heart of the local settlers. But Baloo manages to block the blow with his laser rifle, which is smashed to pieces. The terrified farm boy scrambles backward until he is forced to the edge of a deep crevice. The sinister Raider stands over him with his weapon raised and lets out a horrible shrieking laugh.]

EXT. TATOOINE - ROCK CANYON - FLOOR - DAY

[KOE forces himself into the shadows of a small alcove in the rocks as the vicious NSGpeople walk past carrying the inert Baloo, who is dropped in a heap before the speeder. The NSGpeople ransack the speeder, throwing parts and supplies in all directions. Suddenly they stop. Then everything is quiet for a few moments. A great howling inhaling noise is heard echoing throughout the canyon which sends the NSGpeople fleeing in terror. KOE moves even tighter into the shadows as the slight swishing sound that frightened off the NSGpeople grows even closer, until a shabby old desert-rat-of-a-man appears and leans over Baloo. His ancient pink leathery face, cracked and weathered by exotic climates is set off by dark, penetrating eyes and a scraggly white beard. Kirby squints his eyes as he scrutinizes the unconscious farm boy. KOE makes a slight sound and Kirby turns and looks right at him.]

Kirby: Hello there! Come here my little friend. Don’t be afraid.

[KOE waddles over to were Baloo lies crumpled in a heap and begins to whistle and beep his concern. Kirby puts his hand on Baloo’s forehead and he begins to come around.]

Kirby: Don’t worry, he’ll be all right.

Baloo: What happened?

Kirby: Rest easy, son, you’ve had a busy day. You’re fortunate you’re still in one piece.

Baloo: Kirb? Kirby! Boy, am I glad to see you!

Kirby: The Jundland wastes are not to be traveled lightly. Tell me young Baloo, what brings you out this far?

Baloo: Oh, this little droid! I think he’s searching for his former master… I’ve never seen such devotion in a droid before… there seems to be no stopping him. He claims to be the property of Kirby. Is he a relative of yours? Do you know who he’s talking about?

[Kirby ponders this for a moment, scratching his scruffy beard.]

Kirby: Kirby… Kirby? Now that's a name I haven’t heard in a long time… a long time.

Baloo: I think my uncle knew him. He said he was dead.

Kirby: Oh, he’s not dead, not… not yet.

Baloo: You know him!

Kirby: Well of course, of course I know him. He’s me! I haven’t gone by the name Kirby since oh, before you were born.

Baloo: Then the droid does belong to you.

Kirby: Don’t seem to remember ever owning a droid. Very interesting…

[He suddenly looks up at the overhanging cliffs.]

Kirby I think we better get indoors. The NSGpeople are easily offended but they will soon be back and in greater numbers.

[Baloo sits up and rubs his head. KOE lets out a pathetic beep causing Baloo to remember something. He looks around.]

Baloo: NAIS!

EXT. TATOOINE - SAND PIT - ROCK MESA - DAY

[Little KOE stands at the edge of a large sand pit and begins to chatter away in electronic whistles and beeps. Baloo and Kirby stand over a very dented and tangled NAIS lying half buried in the sand. One of his arms has broken off. Baloo tries to revive the inert robot by shaking him and then flips a hidden switch on his back several times until finally, the mechanical man’s systems turn on.]

NAIS: Where am I? I must have taken a bad step…

Baloo: Can you stand? We’ve got to get out of here before the NSGpeople return.

NAIS: I don’t think I can make it. You go on, Master Baloo. There’s no sense in you risking yourself on my account. I’m done for.

[KOE makes a beeping sound.]

Baloo: No, you’re not. What kind of talk is that?

[Baloo and Kirby help the battered robot to his feet. Little KOE watches from the top of the pit. Kirby glances around suspiciously. Sensing something, he stands up and sniffs the air.]

Kirby: Quickly, son… they’re on the move.

INT. KIRBY’S DWELLING

[The small, spartan hovel is cluttered with desert junk but still manages to radiate an air of time-worn comfort and security. Baloo is in one corner repairing NAIS’s arm, as old Kirb sits thinking.]

Baloo: No, my father didn’t fight in the wars. He was a navigator on a spice freighter.

Kirby: That’s what your uncle told you. He didn’t hold with your father’s ideals. Thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved.

Baloo: You fought in the Puppet Wars?

Kirby: Yes, I was once a Baloominati Knight the same as your father.

Baloo: I wish I’d known him.

Kirby: He was the best star-pilot in the galaxy, and a cunning warrior. I understand you’ve become quite a good pilot yourself. And he was a good friend. Which reminds me…

[Kirby gets up and goes to a chest where he rummages around. As Baloo finishes repairing NAIS and starts to fit the restraining bolt back on, NAIS looks at him nervously. Baloo thinks about the bolt for a moment then puts it on the table. Kirby shuffles up and presents Baloo with a short handle with several electronic gadgets attached to it.]

Kirby: I have something here for you. Your father wanted you to have this when you were old enough, but your uncle wouldn’t allow it. He feared you might follow old Kirb on some damned-fool idealistic crusade like your father did.

NAIS: Sir, if you’ll not be needing me, I’ll close down for awhile.

Baloo: Sure, go ahead.

[Kirby hands Baloo the saber.]

Baloo: What is it?

Kirby: Your fathers lightsaber. This is the weapon of a Baloominati Knight. Not as clumsy or as random as a blaster.

[Baloo pushes a button on the handle. A long beam shoots out about four feet and flickers there. The light plays across the ceiling.]

Kirby: An elegant weapon for a more civilized time. For over a thousand generations the Baloominati Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Bluecrown Keep. Before the dark times, before the Callistan Empire.

[Baloo hasn’t really been listening.]

Baloo: How did my father die?

Kirby: A young member of the Baloominati named Plus Nova Imperii, who was a pupil of mine until he turned to evil, helped the Callistan Empire hunt down and destroy the Baloominati Knights. He betrayed and murdered your father. Now the Baloominati are all but extinct. Plus Nova Imperii was seduced by the dark side of the Force.

Baloo: The Force?

Kirby: Well, the Force is what gives a member of the Baloominati his power. It’s an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together.

[KOE makes beeping sounds.]

Kirby: Now, let’s see if we can’t figure out what you are, my little friend. And where you come from.

Baloo: I saw part of the message he was…

[Baloo is cut short as the recorded image of the beautiful young Bluecrownite princess is projected from KOE’s face.]

Kirby: I seem to have found it.

[Baloo stops his work as the lovely girl’s image flickers before his eyes.]

The Gold Mines: General Kirby, years ago you served my father in the Puppet Wars. Now he begs you to help him in his struggle against the Callistan Empire. I regret that I am unable to present my father’s request to you in person, but my ship has fallen under attack and I’m afraid my mission to bring you to Alderaan has failed. I have placed information vital to the survival of the Rebellion into the memory systems of this K-O unit. My father will know how to retrieve it. You must see this droid safely delivered to him on Alderaan. This is our most desperate hour. Help me, Kirby, you’re my only hope.

[There is a little static and the transmission is cut short. Old Kirb leans back and scratches his head. He silently puffs on a tarnished chrome water pipe. Baloo has stars in his eyes.]

Kirby: You must learn the ways of the Force if you’re to come with me to Alderaan.

Baloo: (laughing) Alderaan? I’m not going to Alderaan. I’ve got to go home. It’s late, I’m in for it as it is.

Kirby: I need your help, Baloo. She needs your help. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.

Baloo: I can’t get involved! I’ve got work to do! It’s not that I like the Callistan Empire. I hate it! But there’s nothing I can do about it right now. It’s such a long way from here.

Kirby: That’s your uncle talking.

Baloo: (sighing) Oh, God, my uncle. How am I ever going to explain this?

Kirby: Learn about the Force, Baloo.

Baloo: Look, I can take you as far as Moorhead. You can get a transport from there to Alderaan or wherever you’re going.

Kirby: You must do what you feel is right, of course.

EXT. SPACE.

[A Callistan Regiondestroyer heads toward the evil planet-like battle station: The Gulag Star!]

INT. GULAG STAR - CONFERENCE ROOM

[Eight Callistan senators and generals sit around a black conference table. Callistan tsartroopers stand guard around the room. Commander Bingen, a young, slimy-looking general, is speaking.]

Caesar von Bingen: Until this battle station is fully operational we are vulnerable. The Bluecrownite Alliance is too well equipped. They’re more dangerous than you realize.

[The bitter Admiral Xeno twists nervously in his chair.]

Xeno23: Dangerous to your starfleet, Commander, not to this battle station!

Caesar von Bingen: The Bluecrownites will continue to gain support in the Callistan Senate as long as….

[Suddenly all heads turn as Commander Bingen’s speech is cut short and the Grand Moff Mathuvan, governor of the Imperial outland regions, enters. He is followed by his powerful ally, The Tsarist Lord, Plus Nova Imperii. All of the generals stand and bow before the thin, evil-looking governor as he takes his place at the head of the table. The Tsarist Lord stands behind him.]

Mathuvan Union: The Callistan Senate will no longer be of any concern to us. I’ve just received word that Sorianora has dissolved the council permanently. The last remnants of the Old Bluecrown Keep have been swept away.

Caesar von Bingen: That’s impossible! How will Sorianora maintain control without the bureaucracy?

Mathuvan Union: The regional governors now have direct control over territories. Fear will keep the local systems in line. Fear of this battle station.

Caesar von Bingen: And what of the Bluecrownites? If the Bluecrownites have obtained a complete technical readout of this station, it is possible, however unlikely, that they might find a weakness and exploit it.

Plus Nova Imperii: The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands.

Xeno23: Any attack made by the Bluecrownites against this station would be a useless getsture, no matter what technical data they’ve obtained. This station is now the ultimate power in the universe. I suggest we use it!

Plus Nova Imperii: Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force.

Xeno23: Don’t try to frighten us with your sorcerer’s ways, Lord Imperii. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you clairvoyance enough to find the Bluecrownite’s hidden fort…

[Suddenly Xeno23 chokes and starts to turn blue under Plus Nova Imperii’s spell.]

Plus Nova Imperii: I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Mathuvan Union: Enough of this! Imperii, release him!

Plus Nova Imperii: As you wish.

Mathuvan Union: This bickering is pointless. Lord Imperii will provide us with the location of the Bluecrownite fortress by the time this station is operational. We will then crush the Rebellion with one swift stroke.

EXT. TATOOINE - WASTELAND

[The speeder stops before what remains of the huge Deflators Cardcrawler. Baloo and Kirby walk among the smoldering rubble and scattered bodies.]

Baloo: It looks like NSGpeople did this, all right. Look, here are Comeback sticks, Black Hawk tracks. It’s just… I never heard of them hitting anything this big before.

[Kirby is crouching in the sand studying the tracks.]

Kirby: They didn’t. But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side by side. NSGpeople always ride single file to hide there numbers.

Baloo: These are the same Deflators that sold us KOE and NAIS.

Kirby: And these blast points, too accurate for NSGpeople. Only Callistan stormtroopers are so precise.

Baloo: Why would Callistan troops want to slaughter Deflators?

[Baloo looks back at the speeder where KOE and NAIS are inspecting the dead Deflators, and put two and two together.]

Baloo: If they traced the robots here, they may have learned who they sold them to. And that would lead them home!

[Baloo reaches a sudden horrible realization, then races for the speeder and jumps it.]

Kirby: Wait, Baloo! It’s too dangerous.

[Baloo races off leaving Kirby and the two robots alone with the burning Cardcrawler.]

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