Open-casket funerals are avoided at all cost, cash-strapped junkies lick rabbits for a cheap high, bouncers at the door of the sweet shop warn five-year-olds not to cause trouble, and group hugs break out during floor votes. Crime is totally unknown. Scotishlands's national animal is the Goldfish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways.
