by Max Barry

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by The Most Serene Republic of Mzeusia. . 3 reads.

The Mzikos Journal: WA Angers Mzeusians Again

Here's a link to the Mzikos Journal Library which has every article.

Here's a link to The Dispatch Writing Guide to help you write a good dispatch.

OOC: Although Mzeusia might look like it is in the WA, it has left in cannon. If this changes, the previous sentence will also change.

The Mzikos Journal

Ever since Mzeusian joined the World Assembly, or WA, Mzeusians have protested their nation's membership. In recent years, the protests against Mzeusian participation grew increasingly loud, culminating in the Mzeusia's exit a few months ago. With the passing of General Assembly Resolution #535 which banned the Death Penalty, massive protests broke out across the nation. The Telumas, Mr Elliot Jania, gave a speech after a week of unabated anger. In the speech, Mr Jania stated that "It has long been an ambition of this party to withdraw Mzeusia from the WA, and with such a clear indication of your [the people's] anger, my government shall prioritise this nation's resignation."

Although the death penalty is very rarely employed, it has always been a part of Mzeusian culture and to get rid of the right to kill was seen as a terrible cultural imposition by an organisation that was far too bloated and unrepresentative of Mzeusian values.

These anti-WA sentiments were renewed with the creation of the WA census category of 'Best Nation.' Some Mzeusians declared that Mzeusia was undoubtedly the best nation. Others said that such an idea was ludicrous and simplistic and decried this latest WA move as divisive and simple-minded.

One of our reporters took to the streets to get the public's reaction.

Person #1: "The WA has long been a corrupt, manipulative and ideologically whacked organisation whose staff could not conduct a legitimate census if the world depended on it. This best nation rubbish is just more of their idiocy."

Person #2: "Mzeusia is the best nation and I don't care what any else says. Elliot Jania did the right thing pulling us out and anyone who doesn't agree can drink some Mzeusian tea. That should set them right."

Person #3: "The WA are full of morons who think that a nation can be declared to be better than another. Some hellholes can be deemed worse, yes, but with other nations that are more similar in values and whatnot, things get far too complex. The respondents to the census would have to do extensive research to even begin approaching the truth, and I would bet my beating heart that none of these respondents have done that. What authority does that census have? None. What does it tell us? Only that the laymen of the world have no idea what they are talking about and delight in trivial frivolities but when it comes to really knuckling down and mastering something, they will all run. You mark my words. They have no clue what they're doing."

Person #4: "I think I'll drink some Mzeusian tea. I have jury duty tomorrow and this WA drama is doing my head in. I need my mental strength to accurately and impartially judge the case ahead because I am a proper Mzeusian citizen who knows what their duty is, damn it!"

Person #5: "When I was sacrificing a goat today, I saw some very bad omens. The Gods have warned me against speaking on this topic, so I will keep this brief. The WA are a bunch of fools."

Person #6: "The WA is an organisation with enough red tape to make a massacre in a tape factory look tame. I'm sick of their antics. They have been abusing this country for far too long with their overreaching legislation that never takes into account the intricate and delicate situations in the nations that make up their organisation. Bureaucracy for bureaucracy's sake is a terrible idea."

Person #7: "Best nation my foot! Who are this lemons to ask such foolish questions. Disgraceful and narrowminded. Haven't they ever heard of nuance!