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DispatchFactbookPolitics

by Nekostan. . 84 reads.

The Catipha

Empurress Meowtriarch the First

The Catipha of Nekostan
Her Most Holy and Royal Kawaiiness

Empuress Meowtriarch


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The Catipha in all her glory with her cat, Snuggles McGenocide

#Position of Nation

Style

– Her Most Holy and Royal Kawaiiness (Formal)
– Catipha (In-formal)

Religion

Uwubbism

Military Service

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Allegiance

Nekostan

Service Branch

Red Rocket Brigade

Rank

Furrher (Current Status)

Empurress Meowtriarch the First is the pinnacle for a self-absorbed brat who cares nothing for anything other than feeding her impulses which are often disturbed and sadomasochistic in nature. Grotesquely hedonistic and deranged, if anything gets in the way of her and even the most remedial form of instant gratification, psychotic wrath follows with it. The Catipha is the absolute, all-powerful leader of Nekostan, an island nation that was used extensively for nuclear weapons testing and disposal of arms and nuclear waste. The island is saturated in low levels of radiation and this causes extensive birth defects and mutations of long-term residents. The Catipha, though she is technically the preeminent and supreme ruler and, at least officially, leader-worship is mandatory in Nekostan, Empurress Meowtriarch doesn't care to interact or even think about the populace or government at all and leaves her domain to raw, unfiltered Anarchy outside of the palace walls.



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Early Life




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Ideology



Political Views

The politics of the Catipha are subject to her whims and fancies and change moment-to-moment. The sturdy cornerstone of her ideology, if you can call it that, is hedonism. She wants what she wants and she wants it now. Empurress' reactions to any given situation typically orbit hysteria, either positive or negative, and she emits an air of generalized psychosis probably caused by long-term exposure to low level radiation and heavy drug use as well as having her ever whim fulfilled and maintaining a lifestyle of unparalleled opulence and pampering.

Outside of the immediate sphere of influence of the Catipha, which stops right at about the princessesque walls of her palace with its cotton-candy pink and pastel blue motif, lawlessness and abject anarchy is all that there is. Warlords, kingpins, and mafia bosses divide, ally, and war with each other in a constant struggle for the only resource available to them, humans. With no natural resources, but also no laws to speak of - as long as the Catipha is placated with milkshakes, tea parties, candy, and amphetamines - multinational corporations schmooze with drug cartels and PMCs and foreign militaries frequently use the civilian populace to test their armaments.

The only thing that keeps the Catipha in power is her endless arsenal of nuclear weapons, controlled by the Red Rocket Bridage which she is the Furrher and sole member of, which she will use in response to the slightest threat against her reign, and the sheer weight of corruption keeping her entrenched - and in some ways isolated - behind her palace walls.


Religious Views

As the founder and head of Uwubbi, the Catipha reigns sovereign over all adherents, known collectively as the Uwummah, wherever they go. Officially, anyone who sets foot on Nekostani soil or even so much as sees an image of the Catipha is legally obliged to denounce their faith and take up the Uwubbist religion. The religion, which is effectively just a cult of service to Empurress Meowtriarch, has a dedicated chapel, the only in the world, within the royal palace and its holy doctrine is just a collection of crayon drawings and the Catipha's diary (which cannot, under any circumstances, be read!). Mostly, adherents are expected to provide offerings of sugary treats, synthetic drugs, and glittery trinkets, but are obligated to take as gospel everything Empurress says. Correct adherence to the faith means that the Catipha is the prettiest, smartest, cutest, most bestest and kawaii-desu person on all the earth and all time and universe and stuff ever! ... Or else.


Hobbies




Unbelievably slothful, Empurress Meowtriarch lazes about most days and spends almost all her time exclusively either in bed or her favorite 'throne' which is reality just a pile of overstuffed pillows. The Catipha is a regular user of hard drugs and it can be difficult to tell when she is high or sober due to her consistently volatile behavior and regularly slurred speech. A typical meal for the Catipha consists of an array of cakes, pastries, and gumdrops or a very large strawberry milkshake made by gourmet chefs who are either flown in for ridiculous sums of cash or just kidnapped abroad and brought back forced to cook against their will until she's bored of them. Tea parties are a favorite pastime and all those present at the time are required to participate and having a good time is mandatory. Catipha Meowtriarch is also an avid weaboo, obsessed with being 'moe' and 'kawaii', a regular consumer of manga and anime, and is ranked first in a number of MMORPGs due to ability and willingness to pay-to-win.


Trivia



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