by Max Barry

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by The airspeed of an unladen swallow. . 3 reads.

The Airspeed of an Unladen Swallow

Where'd you get the coconut?
We found them.
Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
What do you mean?
Well, this is a temperate zone.
The swallow may fly south with the sun
or the house martin or the plumber may seek warmer
climes in winter yet these are not strangers to our land.
Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
Not at all, they could be carried.
What -- a swallow carrying a coconut?
It could grip it by the husk!
It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple
question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not
carry a 1 pound coconut.
Well, it doesn't matter. Will you go and tell your master
that Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here.
Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow
needs to beat its wings 43 times every second, right?
Please!
Am I right?
I'm not interested!
It could be carried by an African swallow!
Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European
swallow, that's my point.
Oh, yeah, I agree with that...
Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court
at Camelot?!
But then of course African swallows are not migratory.
Oh, yeah...
So they couldn't bring a coconut back anyway...

clop clop
Wait a minute -- supposing two swallows carried it together?
No, they'd have to have it on a line.
Well, simple! They'd just use a standard creeper!
What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers?
Well, why not?

The airspeed of an unladen swallow

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