Security Council Proposals

KNOWING that potatoes are ovoid tubers that can be cooked in a variety of ways beloved by many, such as boiling them, mashing them, and sticking them in a stew,

PRAISING the vast variety of potato-based dishes enjoyed by peoples of all the regions of the world, from hearty and delicious soups and stews to spudly delights like bakes and roasts,

RECOGNIZING that a group known as the Potato Alliance has gathered together one of the largest forces ever seen and performed spectacularly during occasional nuclear wars, for example during two wars being absolutely crushed beyond the point of no return, yet managing miraculously to rise from the dead,

ACKNOWLEDGING that Secretary-General of the World Assembly Kuriko and Vice Secretary-General The Salaxalans promised two potatoes to everyone as a central part of their campaign for office,

NOTING that the campaign promise was filled when two potatoes were attached to each missile launched during the aforementioned nuclear wars, a method known as “Direct Potato Distribution”,

RECALLING that in a recent trade fair, potatoes were the only foodstuff and form of humanitarian aid available for trading, something that confirms their superiority,

AWARE that national leaders frequently face a starchy conundrum, a surplus of potatoes, referred to as “A Hot Potato”,

AWESTRUCK at the fact that of the many thousands of pieces of international artwork known to exist, at least 537 have been identified as including potatoes and collected by Vice Secretary-General The Salaxalans,

CERTAIN that potatoes will continue to feature prominently in future events,

CELEBRATING that potatoes are known to all as a symbol of friendship and unity,

NOTING that next to the issue of declaring an official food, all other business before the World Assembly is small potatoes,

HEREBY declares the potato the official food of the World Assembly.