The Southeast Texan Republic of United States of Woodward is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by The Big W with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, strictly enforced bedtime, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 24.216 billion Woodwardians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Houston. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Woodwardian economy, worth a remarkable 4,583 trillion Dollars a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 189,295 Dollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

There's no cure or sympathy for the common cold, the nation's democracy attracts huddled masses yearning to breathe free, pareidolic SETI scientists swear there's a message from aliens hidden within pi, and male cubicle workers stand up every time a woman enters the room. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. United States of Woodward's national animal is the Lion, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Catholicism.

United States of Woodward is ranked 1,639^th in the world and 4^th in Texas for Lowest Crime Rates, with 152.36 law-abiding acts per hour.