The Eggdog-Abundant Haven of United States Of Alpha is a massive, socially progressive nation, ruled by JustBry4 with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, free-roaming dinosaurs, and spontaneously combusting cars. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful population of 1.332 billion United States Of Alphans are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The medium-sized, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Utopiatopia. The average income tax rate is 63.6%.

The frighteningly efficient United States Of Alphan economy, worth 177 trillion pingas a year, is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 133,413 pingas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.9 times as much as the poorest.

United States Of Alphan tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode, ancestry test results arrive bundled with patent applications, no cul-de-sac or trailer park is complete without a gambling parlor, and parents plead with their children to consider prostitution instead of philosophy. Crime, especially youth-related, is moderate, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. United States Of Alpha's national animal is the eggdog, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Internet-Phenomenist Eggdogism.

United States Of Alpha is ranked 71,296^th in the world and 79^th in The Region That Has No Big Banks for Highest Disposable Incomes, with 48,562.52 Standard Monetary Units.