by Max Barry

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Lowest Crime Rates: 3rdHighest Average Incomes: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rd
The Military Dictatorship of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
Ignorance is Bliss
Influence
Duckspeaker
Region
Civil Rights
Unheard Of
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Tzuland

Population17.842 billion

CapitalFort Tzuland
LeaderGeneral Tzu
FaithTzuism

CurrencyGold
AnimalGolden Pig

The Military Dictatorship of Tzuland is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by General Tzu with an iron fist, and renowned for its vat-grown people, avowedly heterosexual populace, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 17.842 billion Tzulandians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Fort Tzuland. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Tzulandian economy, worth an astonishing 20,074 trillion Golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, broadly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Retail. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 1,125,129 Golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.1 times as much as the poorest.

The latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation, Golden Pig populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions, and rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Tzuland's national animal is the Golden Pig, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Tzuism.

Tzuland is ranked 207,305th in the world and 128th in Yggdrasil for Highest Crime Rates, with 0.91 Crimes Per Hour.

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Lowest Crime Rates: 3rdHighest Average Incomes: 3rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7thHighest Poor Incomes: 10thMost Scientifically Advanced: 12thMost Subsidized Industry: 13thLargest Black Market: 14thMost Efficient Economies: 15thLargest Governments: 16thMost Corrupt Governments: 18thLargest Mining Sector: 19thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 24thLargest Insurance Industry: 25thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 26thLargest Information Technology Sector: 27thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 35thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 48thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 57thHighest Economic Output: 71stHighest Average Tax Rates: 103rdMost Avoided: 154thMost Secular: 155thLargest Retail Industry: 163rdMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 165thLargest Agricultural Sector: 203rdSafest: 219thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 357thSmartest Citizens: 369thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 525thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 557thMost Developed: 614thMost Advanced Public Transport: 645thMost Advanced Public Education: 661stLongest Average Lifespans: 715thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 765thLargest Gambling Industry: 921stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,049thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1,081stMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,255thRudest Citizens: 1,344thMost Influential: 1,790thTop
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Fattest Citizens: 2,935thLargest Populations: 8,429thTop
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Most Conservative: 13,933rdMost Stationary: 14,632ndMost Authoritarian: 14,921stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,245th
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Largest Information Technology Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 1st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 1st in the regionLargest Governments: 1st in the regionMost Secular: 1st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 1st in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 1st in the regionLargest Black Market: 1st in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1st in the regionTop
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Most Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 3rd in the regionSafest: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 5th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 6th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 6th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 7th in the regionRudest Citizens: 7th in the regionMost Conservative: 7th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 8th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 9th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 10th in the regionFattest Citizens: 11th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, rocket boots and thermal detonators have become standard-issue military gear.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, Golden Pig populations thrive as dogs are slaughtered in the millions.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, mining is the nation's most dangerous occupation.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the latest Harry Potter book is a bestseller.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, games of cops and robbers typically end in at least one fatal shooting.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, droves of former desperados are applying to join the border police.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, the government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene.
  • : Tzuland was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Conservative.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, policemen want to put the nation's homosexuals up against a wall.
  • : Following new legislation in Tzuland, dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia.

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