The Quasi-Utopia of Toastsylvania is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Toastchan with an even hand, and notable for its public floggings, ban on automobiles, and daily referendums. The compassionate, devout population of 2.816 billion Toastsylvanians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Toastsylvania City. The average income tax rate is 91.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Toastsylvanian economy, worth 237 trillion Fig Newtons a year, is extremely specialized and mostly made up of the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology. Average income is 84,504 Fig Newtons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.4 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens no longer take selfies with their dead relatives at funerals, one can wake up in Toastsylvania and have breakfast in Bigtopia, prime real estate is devoted to wind farms and solar energy generators, and the running costs of homeless shelters are so high that it would be cheaper to buy houses for the homeless. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Toastsylvania's national animal is the Nyan Cat, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Toastsylvania is ranked 312,992^nd in the world and 5,849^th in The North Pacific for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring -11.66 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.