The Democratic Republic of The Republic of Maltaland is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by G D Marsan with an iron fist, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, anti-smoking policies, and avowedly heterosexual populace. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.889 billion The Republics of Maltaland are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Law & Order, although Administration, Healthcare, and Industry are also considered important, while International Aid and Social Policy are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Marsa. The average income tax rate is 71.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Maltese economy, worth 789 trillion Malta Euros a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Woodchip Exports, Book Publishing, Basket Weaving, and Retail. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 161,476 Malta Euros, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

Traveller camps regularly block five-lane superhighways, all weapon research has been banned, phone taps are frequently carried out by the police, and the nation is completely gun-free. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. The Republic of Maltaland's national animal is the Thrush, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Catholic Church.

The Republic of Maltaland is ranked 238,158^th in the world and 8,996^th in The North Pacific for Most Armed, with 0.14 Weapons Per Person.