by Max Barry

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Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 49thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 50thHighest Disposable Incomes: 60th
The Dysfunctional Viper Pilots of
Capitalist Paradise Decent Hardworking Self-Starters
All I got from Earth was this radioactive T-shirt
Civil Rights
Very Good
Political Freedom

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The Colonial Fleet

Population33.819 billion

CapitalNew Caprica
LeaderPresident Roslin
FaithThe Twelve


The Dysfunctional Viper Pilots of The Colonial Fleet is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by President Roslin with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, pith helmet sales, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 33.819 billion Colonials are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New Caprica. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Colonial Fleetian economy, worth an astonishing 20,489 trillion Duckets a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Automobile Manufacturing. Average income is a breathtaking 605,858 Duckets, with the richest citizens earning 6.9 times as much as the poorest.

Neighboring nations are tired of The Colonial Fleet's big fish stories, doughnut-makers claim their products are healthy because they are fortified with vitamins, casino tax breaks are even bigger than their jackpots, and road signs are getting harder to read under layers of knitted woolen cardigans. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, probably because of the absence of a police force. The Colonial Fleet's national animal is the Toaster, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Twelve.

The Colonial Fleet is ranked 80th in the world and 4th in 10000 Islands for Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector, scoring 41,990.51 on the Henry Ford Productivity Index.

Largest Basket Weaving Sector: 49thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 50thHighest Disposable Incomes: 60thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 80thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 80thHighest Economic Output: 92ndMost Armed: 93rdLargest Gambling Industry: 97thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 103rdLargest Insurance Industry: 116thMost Avoided: 122ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 128thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 131stLargest Agricultural Sector: 168thHighest Average Incomes: 169thHighest Crime Rates: 194thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 195thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 201stFattest Citizens: 208thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 215thMost Scientifically Advanced: 274thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 282ndLargest Mining Sector: 287thMost Efficient Economies: 371stMost Cultured: 640thRudest Citizens: 985thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,028thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,032ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1,131stLargest Retail Industry: 1,191stMost Corrupt Governments: 1,321stLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,546thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,651stLargest Populations: 2,091stMost Rebellious Youth: 2,425thSmartest Citizens: 2,720thTop
Most Devout: 4,513thLargest Governments: 6,538thMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,679thLargest Black Market: 7,353rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 9,769thMost Subsidized Industry: 10,311thMost Patriotic: 10,610thMost Stationary: 11,527thTop
Most Influential: 21,414th
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 4th in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 4th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 5th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 5th in the regionFattest Citizens: 6th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 6th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 8th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 10th in the regionTop
Highest Wealthy Incomes: 16th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 16th in the regionMost Cultured: 17th in the regionLargest Populations: 18th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 20th in the regionRudest Citizens: 20th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 25th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 34th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 35th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 48th in the regionMost Devout: 55th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 59th in the regionLargest Black Market: 61st in the regionTop
Most Stationary: 95th in the regionMost Patriotic: 107th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 109th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 112th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 118th in the regionLargest Governments: 121st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 122nd in the region

National Happenings

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