The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 45 is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and remarkable for its compulsory vegetarianism, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.711 billion Second Best Puppet 45ians are highly moralistic and fiercely conservative, in the sense that they tend to believe most things should be outlawed. People who have good jobs and work quietly at them are lauded; others are viewed with suspicion.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 74.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 45ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,270 trillion cards a year, is led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Woodchip Exports, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 189,317 cards, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.3 times as much as the poorest.

Citizens are bombarded with advertising from their compulsory miniature radios, the Second Best Puppet 45ian Intelligence Agency relies on rumour and guidebooks to know what is happening overseas, one of the nation's leading exports is empty platitudes, and octogenarian swimsuit models insist that they've still got it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 45's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 45 is ranked 17,916^th in the world and 1,108^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 91.48 law-abiding acts per hour.