by Max Barry

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Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,429thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,810thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,141st
The Second Best Colony of
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy Communists
2
Noah
Influence
Shoeshiner
Region
Civil Rights
Some
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Some

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Second Best Puppet 09

Population6.704 billion

LeaderNoah

Currencycard
Animallegendary

The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 09 is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Noah with an even hand, and renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, triple-decker prams, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 6.704 billion Second Best Puppet 09ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Administration, and Education. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 91.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 09ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,072 trillion cards a year, is led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 159,995 cards, with the richest citizens earning 6.1 times as much as the poorest.

Every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains, cyclists spend more time unlocking their bicycles than they do cycling, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb, and the government nonchalantly sells old nukes to other countries. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 09's national animal is the legendary, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Second Best Puppet 09 is ranked 103,022nd in the world and 1,635th in Two for Most Stationary, with 414.0173044732 days.

Top
1%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2,429thLargest Agricultural Sector: 2,810thTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,141stLargest Mining Sector: 3,658thMost Devout: 4,683rdLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 7,046thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,479thFattest Citizens: 8,651stHighest Average Tax Rates: 8,934thMost Efficient Economies: 9,168thLowest Crime Rates: 9,245thRudest Citizens: 9,304thNudest: 9,804thMost Advanced Public Education: 10,884thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,100thLargest Governments: 11,139thMost Corrupt Governments: 12,617thLargest Black Market: 12,916thLargest Welfare Programs: 13,333rdTop
10%
Most Cultured: 15,149thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 18,294thMost Valuable International Artwork: 18,648thHighest Average Incomes: 18,808thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 20,139thMost Developed: 20,801stLargest Publishing Industry: 22,827thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 24,830thLargest Retail Industry: 25,295thHighest Economic Output: 27,505thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 27,966thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 28,004th
Top
1%
Largest Populations: 16th in the regionTop
5%
Largest Mining Sector: 31st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 32nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 90th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 101st in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 107th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 110th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 110th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 136th in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 143rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 177th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 193rd in the regionMost Developed: 197th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 204th in the regionLargest Governments: 212th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 214th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 235th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 246th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, the government nonchalantly sells old nukes to other countries.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, the regional delicacy of chocolate bombes is deadlier than an unexploded bomb.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, cyclists spend more time unlocking their bicycles than they do cycling.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, every spring railroad foundations erode to reveal human remains.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, moonshine has made a resurgence.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, police frequently raid drugstores in search of contraband bottles of New Spice aftershave.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, police spend their Saturday nights breaking up illegal street races.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, children as young as eight can be found working in factories.
  • : Second Best Puppet 09 was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Valuable International Artwork.
  • : Following new legislation in Second Best Puppet 09, electricity company executives pray nightly to Zeus and Thor.

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