The Democratic Socialist Empire of Raccooniah is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by King Mark Rubio with an even hand, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, zero percent divorce rate, and complete lack of prisons. The hard-nosed, hard-working, devout population of 7.459 billion Raccoons have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kingston. The average income tax rate is 89.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Raccooniahian economy, worth a remarkable 1,343 trillion Dubloons a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an impressive 180,132 Dubloons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's "surprisingly chill" military is renowned for its horrendous war crimes, customs officers pretend not to hear shouts of "HELP LET ME OUT!" emerging from diplomatic bags, tens of thousands of Raccoons rock the night away at the annual SuperLob, and the latest national park is visited by more sharks than people. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Raccooniah's national animal is the Raccoon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Southern Raccooniahan Orthodoxy.

Raccooniah is ranked 25,596^th in the world and 19^th in Saint Helene for Lowest Crime Rates, with 85.53 law-abiding acts per hour.