by Max Barry

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Most Primitive: 130thMost Ignorant Citizens: 409thMost Devout: 692nd
The Kingdom of
Iron Fist Consumerists Champions of Commerce
Old is better
Influence
Sprat
Civil Rights
Few
Economy
Frightening
Political Freedom
Unheard Of

Overview Policies People Government Economy Rank Trend Cards

Primitive Zimbabwe

Population9.027 billion

Currencydollar
Animaleagle

The Kingdom of Primitive Zimbabwe is a colossal, cultured nation, renowned for its deadly medical pandemics, pith helmet sales, and rampant corporate plagiarism. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.027 billion Primitive Zimbabweans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Defense, and Industry. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 68.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Primitive Zimbabwean economy, worth a remarkable 1,237 trillion dollars a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Basket Weaving, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. Average income is an impressive 137,089 dollars, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 509,517 per year while the poor average 25,917, a ratio of 19.7 to 1.

Every day at 4am Primitive Zimbabweans wake to pray for the sun to rise, the new intercity submarine SSN Eagle Warrior instills terror in claustrophobic travellers, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven, and nighttime sightings of raccoons sporting Circle-A patches and bandanna masks are on the rise. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force. Primitive Zimbabwe's national animal is the eagle, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Primitive Zimbabwe is ranked 47,863rd in the world and 908th in the Rejected Realms for Highest Average Tax Rates, with 68.86 Effective Tax Rate.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 130thMost Ignorant Citizens: 409thMost Devout: 692ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,705thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,233rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 2,589thTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 4,013thFattest Citizens: 5,463rdMost Avoided: 5,479thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,784thLargest Black Market: 6,754thMost Corrupt Governments: 7,286thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,597thMost Subsidized Industry: 9,783rdMost Patriotic: 11,845thMost Advanced Public Transport: 15,637thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,722ndTop
10%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 20,113thLargest Agricultural Sector: 21,162ndMost Efficient Economies: 22,859thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 23,492ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 24,842ndHighest Economic Output: 28,126thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 30,851stHighest Average Incomes: 31,673rdMost Cultured: 31,848th
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 5th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Devout: 21st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 45th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 47th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 49th in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 100th in the regionFattest Citizens: 102nd in the regionMost Avoided: 108th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 121st in the regionLargest Black Market: 127th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 152nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 166th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 189th in the regionTop
10%
Most Advanced Public Transport: 268th in the regionMost Patriotic: 319th in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 376th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 411th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 447th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 460th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 462nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 468th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Primitive Zimbabwe was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Most Advanced Public Transport.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, nighttime sightings of raccoons sporting Circle-A patches and bandanna masks are on the rise.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, it is illegal to have the wrong clock time showing on your microwave oven.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, the new intercity submarine SSN Eagle Warrior instills terror in claustrophobic travellers.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, every day at 4am Primitive Zimbabweans wake to pray for the sun to rise.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, punk rockers smash it up and then clean it up.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, most people think algebra is something a mermaid wears.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, a teen dramedy has been taken off air because the main villain is a man.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, government officials say that if you close your eyes and wish really hard the budget deficit will go away.
  • : Following new legislation in Primitive Zimbabwe, looting and pillaging are now considered vital intelligence-gathering activities.

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