The Republic of Phaialee is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by President Watts with an even hand, and notable for its rum-swilling pirates, ubiquitous missile silos, and smutty television. The compassionate, hard-working, cheerful population of 7.296 billion Phaialeens enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The relatively small, liberal, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Administration, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Shinobu City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 20.2%.

The frighteningly efficient Phaialeen economy, worth a remarkable 1,839 trillion Phai Dollars a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Retail, Tourism, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 252,089 Phai Dollars, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,659,922 per year while the poor average 14,882, a ratio of 111 to 1.

People often get liposuction to reduce their air fares, constituents prefer a carrot and boomstick approach to dealing with politicians, concussed Rabbitball players cannot remember their lineup position, and the bonfire of the old paper records can be seen for miles around Shinobu City. Crime is relatively low. Phaialee's national animal is the Rabbit, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Phaialee is ranked 1,969^th in the world and 1^st in Regionless for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 8,012.48 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.