The Federation of Old Atlantica is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Alpacapatrol with an even hand, and notable for its vat-grown people, digital currency, and keen interest in outer space. The compassionate, cheerful population of 16.041 billion Atlanticans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Alpacaville. The average income tax rate is 99.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Atlantican economy, worth a remarkable 9,132 trillion Rainsticks a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Information Technology, Tourism, and Soda Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is a breathtaking 569,309 Rainsticks, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Atlantican tourists are banned from many nations due to their tendency to randomly explode, the minority inevitably have their addenda vetoed, the art of conversation has been rediscovered, and people are bored of easy crossword puzzles. Crime is totally unknown. Old Atlantica's national animal is the Alpaca, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Lokorism.

Old Atlantica is ranked 4,110^th in the world and 69^th in 10000 Islands for Largest Retail Industry, scoring 19,983.51 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.