The Royal Duchy of Nolgonia is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Duke of Nolga with an even hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, irreverence towards religion, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic population of 5.567 billion Nolgans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Edenburgh. The average income tax rate is 78.8%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The thriving Nolgonian economy, worth 532 trillion Nollars a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 95,636 Nollars, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Constipated disaster survivors are rapidly learning that MRE is short for "Meal Requiring Enemas", the masses are surrendering their civil liberties without complaint for the sake of shopping convenience, more citizens have access to Maxtopian Grass than clean drinking water, and dozens of additional foreign policy specialists have been sent to the country's WA Mission. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nolgonia's national animal is the Peacock, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nolgonia is ranked 263,131^st in the world and 1,242^nd in 10000 Islands for Largest Retail Industry, scoring -17.69 on the Shrinkwrap Consignment Productivity Index.